Steamy Movies
last update 24 April 2007
Colour Blossoms In the mood for a trans-sexual murder, S&M, tri-lingual triangular ghost love story? Madam Umeki Satoko is a fading Japanese film star who takes a liking to a beautiful young real estate agent, Miss Meili. The actress buys a ten million dollar home at the top of Hong Kong on the condition Meili can locate a tenant for her other apartments in Princess Terrace. Captivated by the elegance of her client, she soon discovers that finding the "right tenant" will not be a simple task. This could almost be a travelogue as the main character sashays up and down Hong Kong's streets always meeting the glance of a silent handsome policeman or the embrace of her Tokyo photographer/male model paramour, Kim. Toss in some S&M, a hint of homosexuality, a trace of trans-gender mysticism, an old murder and some rain and you have an undecipherable mess. Written and directed by Yonfan with production help from Fruit Chan. This must be some kind of fantasy romance film that is just neither bizarre nor erotic enough for our jaded tastes. Japanese, Cantonese and bad English poetry with a Hindi soundtrack. Starring Teresa Cheung, Matsuzaka Keiko and Harisu 2004
Zhou You's Train Zhou Yu is a porcelain artist who falls in love with a poet, Chen Ching. They have a commuter romance and she spends a great deal of time on the train to and from their trysts. Although this would pale against an American or French love tale it is fairly erotic for a Mainland Chinese film. Yes, this is a modern Chinese film that actually has sex in it. How weird is that. During her commute Zhou makes the acquaintance of a you veterinarian and adds him to her tag team of lovers. You realize, however it is not the men but the train ride that really turns her on. God, Amtrack does nothing for me. Anyway, life is good until she decides to try out the bus. A little confusing, a little too much clothing, but hey this is genuine progress and bodes well for the future of Chinese cinema. 2003 90 minutes Mandarin w/subtitles
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Tomas is a handsome doctor in Prague with a penchant for lovely women. When he
asks them to take their clothes off, they gladly comply. His mistress,
Sabina, is a sensual artist who looks incredible when she wears her hat to
bed. He meets the bashful Tereza (Juliette Binoche) while performing an
operation at a spa. She overcomes her shyness and she too, takes her clothes
off. They soon marry, but Tomas has a hard time parting with the sensuous
Sabrina and her black derby. This lengthy film (3 hours) is an accurate
rendering of Milan Kundera's erotic novel with the same title. Daniel Day-Louis
is Tomas and the lovely Lena Olin is Sabina. You may never see three cuter asses
in one film. 1988 Rated R 178 minutes English
Lost Highway Let's see, Bill Pullman kills his wife, Patricia Arquette and he is on death row. Something happens and he gets transposed into someone else. That's the only part I understood, except of course the wild sex (be sure and get the NC 17 cut) . So, what if it's very very confusing ? This film is filled with spooky shots of some evil looking dude plus lots of fog, drapery and Lynchisms. Recommended exclusively for die hard David Lynch fans because the rest of you will just be perplexed. I watched it twice and, no, I can't explain it. Good cameo appearances by Marilyn Manson, Henry Rollins, Mink Stole and Jack the Dog. 1997 Rated NC-17/R 135 minutes
Jamon, Jamon A Spanish film about sex and ham. Sylvia is the gorgeous daughter of the town prostitute, so her boyfriend's mom is opposed to their engagement. Everybody is handsome and everyone has some form of torrid sex and best of all there is a "hamicide" at the end. 1994 Spanish w/subtitles 95 minutes Unrated recommended by Jim Mele whose knows a few things about ham. 5/99
Crash If you are slightly unbalanced behind the wheel, please skip this movie. Somehow they manage to connect eroticism to car crashes in a way that might appeal to a few of us. Maybe it's the subliminal images of beautiful people ( Holly Hunter, James Spader, Roseanne Arquette, Elias Koteas, Deborah Unger) fornicating between car crashes that connects those synapses. Anyway, the NC-17 version is the one to see. Absolutely all sexual combinations are explored. Remember that car wash fantasy you always had? All you Canadians will recognize the QEW, that's one really sexy road. Excellent cars. Directed by David Cronenburg because Naked Lunch was not extreme enough. 1996 100/90 Min NC-17/R
The Hairdresser's Husband A middle aged bachelor fulfills his life long destiny by marrying the hairdresser of his dreams. This mildly erotic French love story, directed by Patrice Leconte, will tweak every Romantic bone in your body. Jean Rochefort stars with Anna Galiena. These two are just crazy about each other. Recommended by Ed Hessel and he should know, his wife is a hairdresser. Not recommended for Francophobes or brutal realists. 90 minutes rated R French w/ subtitles
The Last Seduction Linda Fiorentino plays a seductress that the Pope could not refuse. If Fatal Attraction did not keep your spouse from straying this one certainly will. She is so beautiful, why must she be so mean? Directed by John Dahl 1994 110 minutes Rated R
Niagara, Niagara Maybe this is not a torrid romance, but it certainly is an unusual one. Seth is a kleptomaniac who lives with his toothless dad. He meets Marcey (Robin Tunney ) while they are simultaneously pocketing goods at their local drug store. Seth ( Henry Thomas from Spanking the Monkey) is smitten and his love grows even after he finds the Marcey has Tourettes Syndrome and is prone to fits of yelling, violence, tics and lots of unusual behavior. Robin Tunney does an outstanding job portraying this misunderstood malady and the writers are certainly not trying to elicit our sympathy. It's tempting to describe this film as 'powerful' but the ending is a bit too pat, even if the subject is otherwise unorthodox. The good parts outnumber the weak spots. 1998 Rated R 106 minutes 8/17/99
Chasing Amy Although not truly a window fogger, this is a fairly quirky love tale. Ben Affleck is a New Jersey comic book creator that is smitten by fellow comic artist Joey Luaren Adams. He continues to pursue her even after she professes her preference for women. Love makes a serious attempt at conquering all, even sexual preference. Most of the Clerks cast can be found here, too. 1997 Rated R 112 minutes 10/98
Bitter Moon Roman Polanski really knows how to make a degenerate movie. If you think Hugh Grant is a twit, wait till you see him in this one. Grant is seduced away from his wife by a French siren (Emmanuelle Seigner) and her paraplegic husband. You might find this in the "Adult" section of your video store. 1992 140 min Rated R
In the Realm of the Senses Recommended by Jian Xu ho tells us: "In the Realm of Senses" by Japanese director Nagisa Oshima. It's about an obsessive love/lust affair between a man and an ex-prostitute and ends in "the orgasm of death". It is actually based on a true scandal in Japan. The film is very graphic, yet amazingly well-made. I don't know why this film isn't getting more credit than it deserves. Sound pretty good, Jian !
Angel Heart Mickie Rourke is a private detective hire by the devil (Robert Deniro) to track down someone. The detective trappings are straight Sam Spade, but Mr. Rourke redefines "a rough night" way beyond anything Sam could conjure up. Lisa Bonet plays a hot young voodoo priestess, that must have given Bill Cosby fits. Only accept the NC-17 version, the sex is essential to the eeriness of the plot. The book Fallen Angel by William Hjortsberg is also worth reading. Brownie McGhee the famous blues artist has a bit part as Toots Sweet. This is scary stuff and was nicely stylized under Alan Parker's writing and direction. 1987 113 minutes Rated R and NC17
