Erotic French Movies


Steamy Movies

Some of the best known steamy movies in cinema are erotic French movies, so we focus on several of those films on this page. We also offer recommendations for what we think are some of the best steamy romance movies.

Steamy Romance Movies

Colour Blossoms

In the mood for a trans-sexual murder, S&M, tri-lingual triangular ghost love story? Madam Umeki Satoko is a fading Japanese film star who takes a liking to a beautiful young real estate agent, Miss Meili. The actress buys a ten million dollar home at the top of Hong Kong on the condition that Meili can locate a tenant for her other apartments in Princess Terrace. Captivated by the elegance of her client, she soon discovers that finding the "right tenant" will not be a simple task. This could almost be a travelogue, as the main character sashays up and down Hong Kong's streets always meeting the glance of a silent handsome policeman or the embrace of her Tokyo photographer/male model paramour, Kim. Toss in some S&M, a hint of homosexuality, a trace of trans-gender mysticism, an old murder, and some rain and you have an undecipherable mess. Written and directed by Yonfan, with production help from Fruit Chan. This must be some kind of fantasy romance film that is just neither bizarre nor erotic enough for our jaded tastes. Japanese, Cantonese and bad English poetry with a Hindi soundtrack. Starring Teresa Cheung, Matsuzaka Keiko and Harisu. 2004.

Zhou You's Train

Steamy Movies - The Unbearable Lightness of BeingZhou Yu is a porcelain artist who falls in love with a poet, Chen Ching. They have a commuter romance, and she spends a great deal of time on the train to and from their trysts. Although this would pale against an American or French love tale, it's pretty erotic for a mainland Chinese film. Yes, this is a modern Chinese film that actually has sex in it. How weird is that? During her commute, Zhou makes the acquaintance of a young veterinarian and adds him to her tag team of lovers. You realize, however it is not the men, but the train ride that really turns her on. God, Amtrak does nothing for me. Anyway, life is good. Until she decides to try out the bus. A little confusing, a little too much clothing, but this is genuine progress and bodes well for the future of Chinese cinema. 2003. 90 minutes. Mandarin w/subtitles.

The Unbearable Lightness of Being

Tomas is a handsome doctor in Prague with a penchant for lovely women. When he asks them to take their clothes off, they gladly comply. His mistress, Sabina, is a sensual artist who looks incredible when she wears her hat to bed. He meets the bashful Tereza (Juliette Binoche) while performing an operation at a spa. She overcomes her shyness and she too, takes her clothes off. They soon marry, but Tomas has a hard time parting with the sensuous Sabrina and her black derby. This lengthy film (3 hours) is an accurate rendering of Milan Kundera's erotic novel with the same title. Daniel Day-Louis is Tomas, and the lovely Lena Olin is Sabina. You may never see three cuter asses in one film. 1988. Rated R. 178 minutes. English.

Lost Highway

Bill Pullman kills his wife, Patricia Arquette, and he's on death row. Something happens, and he gets transposed into someone else. That's the only part I understood, except of course the wild sex (be sure and get the NC-17 cut) . So what if it's very very confusing? This film is filled with spooky shots of some evil looking dude plus lots of fog, drapery and Lynchisms. Recommended exclusively for die hard David Lynch fans because the rest of you will just be perplexed. I watched it twice and, no, I can't explain it. Good cameo appearances by Marilyn Manson, Henry Rollins, Mink Stole, and Jack the Dog. 1997. Rated NC-17/R. 135 minutes.

Jamon, Jamon

A Spanish film about sex and ham. Sylvia is the gorgeous daughter of the town prostitute, so her boyfriend's mom is opposed to their engagement. Everybody is handsome and everyone has some form of torrid sex and best of all there is a "hamicide" at the end. 1994. Spanish w/subtitles. 95 minutes. Unrated. Recommended by Jim Mele, who knows a few things about ham.

Crash

If you are slightly unbalanced behind the wheel, please skip this movie. Somehow they manage to connect eroticism to car crashes in a way that might appeal to a few of us. Maybe it's the subliminal images of beautiful people (Holly Hunter, James Spader, Roseanne Arquette, Elias Koteas, Deborah Unger) fornicating between car crashes that connects those synapses. Anyway, the NC-17 version is the one to see. Absolutely all sexual combinations are explored. Remember that car wash fantasy you always had? All you Canadians will recognize the QEW, that's one really sexy road. Excellent cars. Directed by David Cronenburg because Naked Lunch was not extreme enough. 1996 100/90 Min NC-17/R.

The Hairdresser's Husband

A middle aged bachelor fulfills his life long destiny by marrying the hairdresser of his dreams. This mildly erotic French love story, directed by Patrice Leconte, will tweak every Romantic bone in your body. Jean Rochefort stars with Anna Galiena. These two are just crazy about each other. Recommended by Ed Hessel and he should know, his wife is a hairdresser. Not recommended for Francophobes or brutal realists. 90 minutes rated R French w/ subtitles

The Last Seduction

Linda Fiorentino plays a seductress that the Pope could not refuse. If Fatal Attraction did not keep your spouse from straying this one certainly will. She is so beautiful, why must she be so mean? Directed by John Dahl. 1994. 110 minutes. Rated R.

Niagara, Niagara

Maybe this is not a torrid romance, but it certainly is an unusual one. Seth is a kleptomaniac who lives with his toothless dad. He meets Marcey (Robin Tunney) while they are simultaneously pocketing goods at their local drug store. Seth (Henry Thomas from Spanking the Monkey) is smitten. and his love grows even after he finds that Marcey has Tourettes Syndrome and is prone to fits of yelling, violence, tics and lots of unusual behavior. Robin Tunney does an outstanding job portraying this misunderstood malady, and the writers are certainly not trying to elicit our sympathy. It's tempting to describe this film as 'powerful', but the ending is a bit too pat, even if the subject is otherwise unorthodox. The good parts outnumber the weak spots. 1998. Rated R. 106 minutes.

Chasing Amy

Although not truly a window fogger, Chasing Amy is a fairly quirky love tale. Ben Affleck is a New Jersey comic book creator who is smitten by fellow comic artist Joey Lauren Adams. He continues to pursue her even after she professes her preference for women. Love makes a serious attempt at conquering all, even sexual preference. Most of the Clerks cast can be found here, too. 1997. Rated R. 112 minutes.

Bitter Moon

Roman Polanski really knows how to make a degenerate movie. If you already think Hugh Grant is a twit, wait till you see him in this one. Grant is seduced away from his wife by a French siren (Emmanuelle Seigner) and her paraplegic husband. You might find this in the "Adult" section of your video store. 1992. 140 minutes. Rated R.

In the Realm of the Senses

Recommended by Jian Xu, who tells us, "In the Realm of Senses by Japanese director Nagisa Oshima is about an obsessive love/lust affair between a man and an ex-prostitute, and it ends in "the orgasm of death". It is actually based on a true scandal in Japan. The film is very graphic, yet amazingly well-made. I don't know why this film isn't getting more credit than it deserves. Sound pretty good, Jian!

Angel Heart

Mickey Rourke is a private detective hire by the devil (Robert Deniro) to track down someone. The detective trappings are straight Sam Spade, but Mr. Rourke redefines "a rough night" way beyond anything Sam could conjure up. Lisa Bonet plays a hot young voodoo priestess. That must have given Bill Cosby fits. Only accept the NC-17 version; the sex is essential to the eeriness of the plot. The book Fallen Angel by William Hjortsberg is also worth reading. Brownie McGhee the famous blues artist has a bit part as Toots Sweet. This is scary stuff. and it's nicely stylized under Alan Parker's writing and direction. 1987. 113 minutes. Rated R and NC17.

Weird Movies Home

The Weird Movie Blog

Amnesia Movies

Korean Movies

Misspent Youth

Drag Queen Movie Extravaganzas

Siamese Twin Movies & Double Features

Chinese Movies

Serial Killer Movie Series

Cannibal Movies

New Jersey Movies

British Movies about People with Bad Manners

Criminal Couples Movies

Hindi Movies

Bags of Money

Japanese Films

Substance Abuse Movies

Hong Kong Comedies

Perennial Loser Films

Doc-, Mock-, Rock- & Shock -umentaries

Movies from Thailand

Film Films

Hard to Understand Movies about the Future

Botched Kidnapping Movies

First Rites Films

Dead Pet Movies

Dysfunctional Rock Band films

Subtitled Films that Didn't Beed Subtitles

Films that Portray Gypsies in a Positive Way

Avuncular Cinema

Working Boys

Amateur Criminals

Dysfunctional Family Movies

"AND" Movies

Vampire Movies

Voodoo Movies

Bizarro Classics

Good Movies about Bad Cops

Comic Book Movies

Alien Adventures

Elvis, Nixon and Elvis&Nixon Films

Steamy Movies

Southern Hemisphere Stuff

Site Map