2011 Mr. Skin Anatomy Award Winners
A few weeks ago, I posted the “nominudes” for the 2011 Mr. Skin Anatomy Awards. This online honor is given out each year to those lovely ladies who show off their assets for the camera, and now it’s time to take a look at the winners. While this article contains no nudity, it should serve as a handy guide the next time you’re perusing Netflix or the aisles of your local video store.
- Love and Other Drugs
- Lake Placid 3
- Piranha 3D
- Boogie Woogie
Comments: Did any other film even have a chance this year? Piranha 3D is packed with nudity, including the presence of some lovely real-life porn stars. Breasts fly at your face in 3D, and the presence of Ving Rhames (non-nude) wielding an outboard motor put this one over the top. Look for an upcoming sequel entitled–and I’m not kidding–Piranha 3DD, which is sure to be a top contender for the 2012 Mr. Skin Anatomy Awards.
Best TV Show
- Spartacus (tie)
- Boardwalk Empire (tie)
Comments: This one was a tie between Martin Scorsese’s Boardwalk Empire and the Roman era depravity of Spartacus: Blood and Sand. While both were well deserving, the series about a male prostitute with a massive penis (Hung) should be ashamed that it dropped the ball.
- Rebecca Marshall in Party Down
- Kirsten Dunst in All Good Things
- Anne Hathaway in Love and Other Drugs
- Violante Placido in The American
- Jessica Pare in Hot Tub Time Machine
Comments: While established stars such as Anne Hathaway and Kirsten Dunst bared their breasts in 2010, it was Canadian hottie Jessica Pare and her impressive man-made boobs that ran away with the win. I doubt we’ll see Pare hosting the Oscars in the near future, but you can catch her on the fourth season of Mad Men in the role of Megan.
Best Full Frontal
- Sasha Grey in Entourage
- Viva Bianca in Spartacus
- Rebecca Creskoff in Hung
- Paz de la Huerta in Boardwalk Empire
- Naomi Watts in Mother and Child
Comments: Personally, I was delighter to see Naomi Watts display some full-frontal goodness, but the win went to Rebecca Creskoff for her head-turning role on Hung. The series creators must agree, as she was promoted to a regular cast member in the show’s second season.
Best Butt – Nude
- Kate Hudson in Killer Inside Me
- Jessica Alba in Killer Inside Me
- Rachel Weisz in Agora
- Noomi Rapace in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
- Sharon Hinnendael in Look
Comments: For a movie that was an overall disappointment, Killer Inside Me featured some surprisingly bonerific moments courtesy of Jessica Alba and Kate Hudson. Alba will probably never go for the full monty, so getting to see her bare buns is a nice consolation prize.
Best Butt – Thong
- Tess Arlington in Pretty Wild
- Kristen Stewart in Welcome to the Rileys
- Jade Tailor in True Blood
- Kristen Renton in Sons of Anarchy
- Vida Guerra in Eastbound and Down
Comments: Vida Guerra, the Cuban-born beauty who’s twice won FHM’s “Best Butt” award, walks away with the win. For even more of her, check out the mind-blowing Playboy pics. While she didn’t win, Kristen Stewart demonstrated that a hot butt looks even better with an angst-ridden pout.
Best Lesbian Scene
- Heather Graham and Jaime Winston in Boogie Woogie
- Elena Anaya and Natasha Yarovenko in Room in Rome
- Kelly Brook and Riley Steele in Piranha 3D
- Amanda Seyfried and Julianne Moore in Chloe
- Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis in Black Swan
Comments: I figured that the pairing of Kelly Brooke/Riley Steele or Natalie Portman/Mila Kunis would win for sure, but never underestimate the power of a hot chick getting it on with a red-haired MILF. It’s not the one I would’ve picked, but it’s hard to complain when it’s a lesbian scene. Truly, everyone wins.
NudeComer of the Year
- Sharon Hinnendael in Look
- Jillian Murray in Wild Things: Foursome
- Jamie Renee Smith in Weeds
- Roxanne Pallet in Lake Placid 3
- Christy Carlson Romano in Mirrors 2
Comments: The award for lesser-known actresses who graciously display their goods, NudeComer of the Year goes to Sharon Hinnendael for her role in Look, a series viewed entirely through the eyes of security cameras. Let’s just hope the losers don’t give up too easily. Ladies, there’s always the 2012 Mr. Skin Anatomy Awards.
2011 Mr. Skin Anatomy Awards – Even More Awards
In addition to the categories open to voting, Mr. Skin also awarded a number of other honors. Enjoy the list, but make sure to keep one hand free.
Best Wet T-Shirt
Winner: Alice Eve in Sex and the City 2
Comments: Could Alice Eve be any hotter? I think not (especially when compared to “beauties” like Cynthia Nixon and Sarah Jessica Parker).
Winner: Amanda Seyfried in Boogie Woogie
Best Nude Parasailing
Winner: Gianna Michaels in Piranha 3D
Comments: When you really want to do nude parasailing right, get yourself a bona fide porn star.
Most Niptastic Nips
Winner: Milla Jovovich in Stone
Best Nude in an Apron Scene
Winner: Leonor Watling in The Oxford Murders
Best Child Star Grown Up and Out
Winner: Christy Carlson Romano in Mirrors 2
Best Nude Over 40
Winner: Lucy Lawless in Spartacus
Comments: After watching every season of Xena: Warrior Princess, I finally receive my reward.
Best Camel Toe
Winner: Kiele Sanchez in 30 Days of Night: Dark Days
Best Phone in Vagina
Winner: Mayra Leal in Machete
Comments: Moments after the phone in the vagina, Steven Seagal appears on screen. That’s like the two greatest things in human history coming together.
Best Naked and Dead
Winner: Christina Ricci in After.Life
Best Spanking Scenes
Winner: Jessica Alba and Kate Hudson in The Killer Inside Me
Comments: God bless you, Casey Affleck.
Best Glowing Boobs
Winner: Lola Davidson in The Caretaker
Best Nude While Wearing a Mask
Winner: Rebecca Marshall in Party Down
Comments: You really don’t see enough scenes like this (outside of a Stanley Kubrick film, that is).
Best Group Sex Scene
Winner: Wild Things: Foursome
Comments: The title of the film pretty much says it all.
Best Nude Trilogy
Winner: Noomi Rapace in Stieg Larsson’s Dragon Tattoo Trilogy
Comments: She’s got a body like a 12-year-old boy, but Noomi Rapace still manages to be sexy thanks to plenty of leather and attitude.
Porn Star Gone Mainstream
Winner: Sasha Grey in Entourage
Comments: Glad to see Sasha pounding on the glass ceiling, although you have to wonder how far she can take it? Then again, Tracy Lords has appeared in over 35 films since getting out of the adult film industry (although I don’t know if Ms. Grey will be satisfied with films like Circuitry Man II and Epicenter).
Best Network Nip-Slip
Winner: Leven Rambin in Scoundrels
Best Network Butt Crack
Winner: Lisa Edelstein in House
Winner: Gemma Arterton in The Disappearance of Alice Creed
Comments: Gemma Arterton is one of my favorite actresses at the moment, so I was delighted to see her included. It’s always refreshing to see a beautiful woman who doesn’t look like she skips meals.
Best Retro ’70s Bush on DVD
Winner: Jacqueline Laurent in Diary of a Nymphomaniac
Best Bathtub Scene
Winner: Elena Anaya and Natasha Yarovenko in Room in Rome
Best Sex Scene in a Bar
Winner: Mary Louise Parker in Weeds
Comments: Can this series get any raunchier? I hope so.
Best Blu-Ray Find
Winner: Brigitte Bardot Ass Hair in Contempt
Comments: While I’m not normally into “ass hair,” Brigitte Bardot still manages to make it look appealing.
Best Nude and Pregnant
Winner: Kathryn Hahn in Hung
Best Outdoor Nude Scene
Winner: Sarah Butler in I Spit on Your Grave: Unrated
Comments: Just keep in mind that the whole gang rape thing may take a bit of the allure out of this otherwise noteworthy nude scene.
Best B-Movie Nudity
Winner: #1 Cheerleader Camp
Winner: Kim Kardashian in Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami
Comments: She’s going to be a mess in a decade, so let’s admire Kim’s rockin’ body while we have the chance.
Winner: Maggie Q in Nikita
Comments: During her senior year in high school, her classmates voted her “Best Bod.” Thirteen years later, she’s still proving them right.
Most Outrageous Nude Scene
Winner: Charlotte Gainsbourg in Antichrist
Comments: Everything about this controversial flick was outrageous. If Mr. Skin ever creates a “Best Ball-Crushing” category, expect Antichrist to walk away with a number of awards.
Nude in 6 Decades
Winner: Helen Mirren in Love Ranch
Comments: Dame Helen has never had a problem with shedding her clothes, and she proves that by showing off her 65-year-old body in Love Ranch. Is it just me, or did she look unusually hot for an old gal in Red?
Actress We Most Want to See Nude in 2011
Winner: Brooklyn Decker
Comments: While some full-frontal action would be nice, I’m more interested in seeing Ms. Decker’s massive chest unveiled. It was one of the few good things about Just Go with It.
Lifetime Skinchievement Award
Winner: Jamie Lee Curtis
Comments: Can’t argue with this one. Between her topless scene in Trading Places and her non-nude dancing in True Lies, Jamie Lee has long held a place in my fantasies.
That concludes the list of 2011 Mr. Skin Anatomy Award winners. Luckily, a whole new year has started, and the entertainment industry shows no signs of banning nudity or steamy sex scenes. That means there should be a 2012 version of the Anatomy Awards, and we’ll be bringing you both the nominudes and the winners.