In Escape from the Bronx, Trash is still hanging around town. We get to meet Trash’s parents, who keep a poster of their son on their apartment wall. You see where Trash gets his guts from, since Trash’s dad shows real gumption fighting the vile forces of GC.

This time around, Manhattan is largely in the hands of the General Construction Company, usually referred to as “GC”. General Construction is trying to clean out the Bronx, supposedly with the cover story that everyone is being relocated to New Mexico. In truth, General Construction is simply wiping out Bronx dwellers anywhere they find them. The flame thrower is one of their favorite modes of annihilation.

Here’s a handy tip if you want to engage in mass murder: don’t name your unit something like the “Disinfestation Annihilation Squad”.

The Mainstream Media portrays the Disinfestation Annihilation Squad as genocidal.

That’s a pretty good tip off to the locals that you want to exterminate them all. DAS is going around the Bronx involved in ethnic cleansing, or should I say “class cleansing”? Class conflict is at the heart of this movie, like it is often in Euro films. I take off points because it was so heavy-handed. I wanted either post-apocalyptic bleakness or action movie swashbuckling or, like in the original, a mixture of the two.

Evil Corporations Are Evil

This is nothing new in cinema, of course. Hollywood and its counterparts worldwide love to tell is that corporations are evil. This is from the “Takes One to Know One” school of logic, since the movie industry is also run by evil corporations. I suppose this is explained by the fact the directors and actors consider themselves outside the apparatus of film studios, at most the downtrodden officer workers of the movie making corporation–and maybe the middle management in the case of producers and directors. So maybe the quality control experts at the studios don’t quite get they’re being criticized along with Wall Street when a movie depicts evil conglomerates like the General Construction Company and its colorfully named Disinfestation Annihilation Squad. Maybe I should give a director like Enzo Castellari credit for pulling one over the censor’s eyes.

Henry Silva at His Finest

Henry Silva was excellent as the head of the DAS, described as being perfect for the job of cleaning out the Bronx because he once ran a prison. Does any profession have a worse reputation in movies than a prison warden? I bet you could count on one hand the number of prison wardens in cinema who were decent human beings. Pretty much the same goes for head prison guards.

You might remember Henry Silva from The Manchurian Candidate, or as a hitman in either Sharky’s Machine or Dick Tracy.

Heck, Silva even appeared as the heavy in Steven Seagal’s action movie debut, Above the Law. He’s good.

Trash as You’ve Never Seen Him

Trash appears to be less buff in this film. He wears a jacket most of the time to cover up his lack of muscles, though he still appears to be in pretty good shape. I tend to think it’s an improvement for Gregory. Either less bulk or more experience onscreen meant he was a little less stiff walking around. Still, Mark Gregory is no Brando.

Something is lost in the sequel. Now the gangs don’t war with each other for turf in the Bronx. They hide out below the city and appear to hang out together like they’re all friends or something. The Rockettes are in the subways practicing their dance moves.

Don’t get me wrong; the dancing gang members made me laugh in both films. But that takes any edge off these people, especially since the one group continues to perform their dance moves. Any good Rider should finish these people off quick.

Good Post-Apocalyptic Cinema

Still, if you want to see what Italian post-apocalyptic cinema is about, you could probably do worse than 1990: Escape from the Bronx.This was the era when even the US president’s daughter thought her father leading the world to nuclear annihilation. It’s a little odd that Enzo Castellari made nuclear winter about class warfare, but the apocalypse tends to bring out conflicts between the haves and have-nots, I suppose.

I enjoyed watching this movie, which in the end is the true litmus test of whether an action movie has done its job. Sure, a lot of the entertainment involved laughing at what was happening, but that’s part of the fun of campy B-movies.  Escape from the Bronx had man in an eyepatch as a nod to Escape from New York’s Snake Plisken, though the fellow in the eyepatch looked a little more like Chuck Norris. Our group of film viewers ended up calling him Little Chuck Norris, because he was so short. That should be an indication of the kind of campy fun to expect with the 1990 movies. The lesson: watch these with friends, because these were made for running commentary.

The second one of these films was campy enough to be featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000 under a different name. I’m going to discuss the 1990: The Bronx Warriors and its sequel together, since anyone interested in the one is likely to want to watch the other.

Casting in these movies included an unknown bodybuilder and the Hells Angels. American actors like Vic Morrow, Fred Williamson, and Henry Silva lent their talents to one or the other of these stories.

Early 80s and Post-Apocalyptic Fiction

It was the early 1980s. Ronald Reagan was in office, calling the Soviet Union the evil empire. While in office, Reagan joked he had signed a bill banning the Soviet Union and he would start launching warheads in 5 minutes time.

Now to hear them talk now, Ronald Reagan was as horrified as anyone when his generals told him we could “win” a nuclear war that would have left 2/3rds of Americans dead. He was also flabbergasted when his saber rattling and a few ill-timed events (Beirut bombing, European war games, bad intel) left the Soviets believing we had launched nukes in 1983–and were minutes away from launching a counterstrike! This really happened, and when a few days later a CIA spy reported this to the White House, it led to serious disarmament talks.

The public knew nothing of this. In fact, the Cold War seemed to be at a fever pitch in the early 1980s. Post-apocalyptic films were going through a golden age. The Road Warrior was capturing imaginations and many copies and offshoots were produced around the globe. The Bronx Warriors was obviously inspired by Escape from New York, while Ezno Castellari appears to have had a major fetish for A Clockwork Orange. Wrap that up in an Italian B-movie package and you get 1990 and Escape from the Bronx. I’ll start with the original, so let’s enter the dark future that is…1990.

1990: The Bronx Warriors Review

Trash Adds a Certain Elegance to Mourning and Revenge

The original movie seemed to have a bigger budget and appeared to have been filmed in and around New York City. Inside scenes were filmed in Rome. This movie featured Vic Morrow, Fred Williamson, and the Hells Angels. It also had a greater sense of fun about it.

Now it may seem odd to describe a post-apocalyptic film as “fun”, but this movie took itself less seriously. The basic story involves the interplay between Manhattan and the Bronx. Manhattan seems to have survived whatever horrors this alternate-world 1990 went through, enough that you’ll see large amounts of traffic anytime you peer across the East River on the island. In fact, you would think it was any normal day in 1980s New York City–which of course it was. The New York skyline seemed unchanged by the wars which left America prostrate and the Euro-Asia-Africa bloc claiming victory in a war. Apparently, the Russians forgot to nuke Manhattan.

The Bronx didn’t get out so well. We’re told repeatedly how bad it is to live in the Bronx. It’s described as lawless and run by gangs. People from Manhattan wouldn’t be caught dead there–pretty much like in real life (unless they’re going to a Yankees game). The gangs certainly run things, but life isn’t as bleak as you’d expect from the description. For instance, in one scene, you see a group of 4-5 kids down the street playing basketball on a public court. That’s not how I expect nuclear winter to be, but maybe I’m just being pessimistic.

Manhattan is, naturally enough, home to the Manhattan Corporation, which supplies the world with 60% of its military hardware. The heiress to the Manhattan Corporation, Anne (played by Stefania Girolami), can’t take it an instant more, so she runs away from her gilded cage into The Bronx, hoping to get away from some undisclosed terrible situation. Anne is nearly captured by the Zombies, but is saved by Trash and his Riders (no spoilers–this is the first 10 minutes of the film). Before we get to that, let’s talk about the zombies.

Zombies on Wheels

I love the early eighties. This is when dudes on roller skates carrying hockey sticks and wearing painted white Nazi helmets were considered cool and menacing. I suppose if you were walking down the sidewalk and these people appeared, you’d probably be pretty frightened, since you would have to think these people were deranged. Still, you’d have to chuckle to yourself a bit. Adding to their sense of menace, the Zombies have white Old Navy jackets and yellow elbow pads. You have to be tough to pull off that outfit.

Trash and the Riders

Not tough enough for the Riders, of course. These guys look like the Hells Angels because, well, they are the Hells Angels. America’s most famous bikers got a walk-on role in The Bronx Warriors. Unfortunately for them, they had to follow decidely non-Biker actor, Mark Gregory (Trash).

Mark Gregory was cast as Trash because Enzo G. Castellari and he worked out at the same gym. Enzo Castellari thought he had the perfect look for an action hero. Trash certainly was buff, though he was awkwardly tall and he had this jaunty walk. I use the term “jaunty” because I can think of no other way to describe it accurately: too-good posture, stiff, just very odd. (He was less stiff, and less buff, in the sequel). Something about Trash seems effiminate. With his youthful face and long hair, Trash looked like he should be the frontman in an Eighties hair band.

From what I’ve heard, the Hells Angels were none too impressed by Mark Gregory. In his turn, Gregory apparently wasn’t much impressed by movie making. Termed shy by the director, Mark Gregory has since faded into obscurity, enough so that Enzo Castellari started a 2004 website (now defunct) to help locate his former actor (http://www.bronxwarriors.co.uk/Hunt%20for%20Trash.htm).

Fred Williamson as Ogre

A more convincing gang leader is Ogre, head of the Tigers. Ogre is played by Fred Williamson, who gives his usual solid performance. One day, I’d like to see a study of action stars which tracks their survival rate in action movies. Fred Williamson always seems like a bad man, totally competent and likeable, but doomed from the start. That’s just my observation.

Maybe I just need to see more of the early Fred Williamson movies, though. I heard once he had three rules when working on films: he never loses a fight, he never dies, and he always gets the girl. Williamson claimed he sometimes waived those rules when he made Italian films, because he liked filming in Italy so much. There, he was a movie star, not a blaxploitation star.

Whatever the case, the gangs were fun in Bronx Warriors. Each one had a gimmick, right down to the tap dancing gangs. Again, several reminded me of A Clockwork Orange, but these were fun. A big part of the conflict is Trash’s eventually need to get across town (The Bronx) through several gang’s territories. That was good stuff, though the action left a little something to be desired at times. Also, I’m not so sure how tough Trash was supposed to be, because things like netting seemed to give him trouble.

Vic Morrow as Hammer

One of the big treats of 1990: The Bronx Warriors was Vic Morrow as Hammer. Hammer is sent by the corporation to get Anne back. As a man from the Bronx originally, he’s uniquely qualified to find the missing heiress. It also helps that he’s a psychopath. This was the penultimate film in Vic Morrow’s career, because he was killed on the set of The Twilight Zone movie when a helicopter accident (struck by the chopper’s blade) left him dead. To see Vic Morrow in all his glory, watch The Bronx Warriors.

All in all, this film was so silly that you had to like it. I feel like it’s vastly superior to the sequel, 1990: Escape from the Bronx, if for no other reason than it was less overtly political and more of a romp. I’ll review that other film in the next few days, so stay tuned.

If you want clever and funny mixed in with horror lite moments, you’ll enjoy what you see. The Joss Whedon script is full of sly references to horror film genres around the globe. The plot is based around stock American horror movie tropes, especially the splatter films of the 1980s onward mixed with certain elements of cosmic horror in literature.

What you get is a story that hits all the notes of slasher movies, but is something novel and creative. A friend of mine said this would probably be the most original horror screenplay you’d see all year.

That’s not saying much in a genre so derivative, but it’s still a certain distinction.

The Cabin in the Woods Plot

The plot involves 5 young college students traveling to a cousin’s cabin in the wilderness for a weekend of fun. These characters each fit into a horror film type: Curt the Athlete (Chris Hemsworth), Jules the Whore (Anna Hutchison), Holden the Brain (Jesse Williams), Marty the Fool (Fran Kranz), and Dana the Virgin (Kristen Connolly). When you look beneath the surface, none of these character fits their archetype that closely, since Jules is actually Pre-Med and Curt is a sociology major. These characters are shoehorned into these roles by the shadowy puppet-masters.

PLOT SPOILER ALERT: A Gas for Every Emotion

That’s because The Cabin in the Woods is heavy on meta-plot. People back in a control booth are manipulating the narrative. Everything is being filmed by producers Steve (Bradley Whitford) and Richard (Richard Jenkins). The whole thing’s a setup to appease ancient gods who remain sleeping if one nation on Earth makes the proper sacrifice once a year. All the countries of the world stage their own death ritual, including the Japanese, who have a perfect record. The short montage where we see the results of this year’s rituals from Japan, Sweden, Brazil, and elsewhere was priceless.

What I thought was a little cheesy was the use of special gas to prod characters’ actions. The aphrodisiac pheremones made a certain sense, but the gas which (SPOILER) caused someone to change their tactics seemed a little too much.

Also, every time the tension rose and a scary moment appeared ready to break out, the director panned back to the control room for a punchline. Don’t get me wrong: one-time Oscar nominee Richard Jenkins and The West Wing’s Bradley Whitford were terrific in their scenes. The entire production crew was so nonchalant about killing innocent victims that it reminded me of the C.S. Lewis quote, “The greatest evils in the world will not be carried out by men with guns, but by men in suits sitting behind desk“. I also thought about the Milgram experiment (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milgram_experiment).

It was a sign of good writing that you still kind of liked these characters. I especially liked the action-movie version of Bradley Whitford towards the end, but trying to be a comedy and a horror story meant the end result fell between two proverbial chairs.

The Cabin in the Woods Social Commentary

Of course, the humor is meant as social commentary. In a wider sense, the Ancient Ones aren’t really so much ancient old ones or old gods so much as they’re the viewing audience of Hollywood films in general and horror cinema in specific. Youths die in horror movies every year not to appease the gods, but to appease the American public. We might act like we want original storytelling and surprise twists, but the same formula is used over and over again because zombie horror and cheap torture porn makes money.

ENDING SPOILER ALERT: How It All Ends

That’s why the big titan fist at the end makes so much sense. At first, I was a little disappointed that Cthulhu or some other Lovecraftian horror didn’t emerge to devour the Earth. But the giant human fist is more apt than something out of H.P. Lovecraft, because the human viewers are who really pass judgment on whether more youngsters get sacrificed. But let’s get to the nuts and bolts of the ending of The Cabin in the Woods.

First of all, I enjoyed the mayhem at the end when all the movie monster options got released from their cages. The Pinhead knockoff made me laugh, though I’d like to have seen more of the film monsters so I could have enjoyed the various homages. I guess that’s what repeat viewings are for.

Second, the ending was lame. I got the idea the writers and filmmakers wanted to show the gods come to life, so the ending was preordained. I got the idea we crossed over from the nice character-driven storytelling of Joss Whedon to a more plot-driven narrative in the final scene.

Most normal people, when they’re confronted with the idea they can die a fairly painless death and save the human race or live for a few minutes and let the human race (including them) die a horrible death, they would choose the bullet in the head over the alternative.

To Be or Not To Be…an Asshole

Instead, the two survivors sit around smoking weed as 6.7 billion people or so are snuffed out. I know these college students are pissed they were singled out for sacrifice, but it’s hard to blame the whole human race for that because “it’s time for a change”. Maybe that was some powerful weed, but what an awful conclusion for these characters to come to.

I suppose you could say they’d been so traumatized they weren’t thinking straight, but they seemed otherwise rational. To know the facts and choose to let everyone else die for the sake of spite or indifference is akin to murdering nearly 7 billion people and committing genocide on an unprecedented scale: an act 1000 times bloodier than the Holocaust.

In other words, it was an asshole move on the part of the two surviving characters. I guess maybe it was time for a change.

Related Posts

Comedy Horror Movies
Wes Craven Movies and Scream Metafiction
The Cabin in the Woods Wiki Page

What isn’t a treat is getting the DVD or blu-ray disc that is scratched, broken, or otherwise unwatchable. In the past two-and-a-half months, I’ve received 3 broken or scratched DVDs that I had to send back without watching all the way through. When the third disc started messing up, my first thought was, “I sure hope Netflix doesn’t think I’m ruining all these discs.”

Scratched Netflix Discs: A Conspiracy Theory

Then another thought occurred to me: is Netflix letting their disc catalog “go bad” in order to drive customers to streaming? I’m not saying that’s the case, but I wanted to float that theory out there and see if other Netflix disc watchers have noticed a decided uptick in messed up DVDs.

Broken DVD #28 Courtesy of Manuel

It may seem crazy to think a business would sabotage their own product in order to modify the behavior of their customers, but this wouldn’t be the first time for this particular company. Netflix has gotten into the nasty habit of providing worse or lesser service when it served their purposes.

Netflix’s List of Nefarious Customer Relations

If the online film rental and video watching community is right, Netflix has a history of customer behavior modification through providing worse service. A class-action lawsuit in 2005 revealed that Netflix “throttles” mail rentals to high-volume video watchers, because if these discs get to the customer and back too soon, Netflix is operating at a loss providing service to that Netflix user.

Netflix also eliminated the “Releasing This Week” feature from their site (or made it hard to find), because they knew this led to too many people putting new releases at the top of their queue. Even those who did what Netflix wished and moved to video streaming think
Netflix is throttling service to modify their behavior.

Qwikster: Worse Service Equals Big Profits…NOT!

In light of those practices, is it so crazy to think Netflix would let their DVD and blu-ray catalog go bad, hoping it will drive disc renters to switch to streaming?

Everyone knows Netflix has added motivation enough to switch to streaming, offering a streaming plan for the $7.99 per month rate while raising our snail mail prices. We’re all aware of the Qwikster fiasco, when Netflix CEO Reed Hastings tried to move all the DVD users over to a whole other website named “Qwikster“, as if we were the red-headed stepchildren of the Netflix family (I say that as a redhead).

So why wouldn’t they let their video catalog slowly wither on the vine?

I’m not saying I think Netflix has employees deliberately scratching discs or otherwise sabotaging their own products. I’m wondering if they might be devoting less of the budget to replacing or repairing bad discs, hoping that repeated bad experiences cause the average DVD renter to say, “Screw it! I’m dropping DVDs and blu-rays and switching to streaming.”

I could be wrong. That would be a big risk to provide bad service hoping for a switch to the new technology, because these same customers might come to the conclusion Netflix sucks and they’re going to find another way to rent films. Every scratched blu-ray or DVD could be one more customer using Redbox. In light of last year’s disastrous public relations and stock market performance of Netflix, alienating their customer base might be the last thing on their mind. I just want to know what other Netflix people’s recent experiences are.

Pissed Customers Speak Out

To study this thesis, I went to Pissed Consumer and did a search using “scratches Netflix“. I found a number of irate customers complaining of scratched discs, along with one or two who claimed they’d noticed a difference in the quality of their DVDs.

• There was “BBB444444″, who complained on November 27, 2011 that DVD condition had worsened in the past few months. She says she thinks they’re stealing money before they go out of business and can’t imagine another reason they would send out bad discs, but I can imagine another reason.
• Then there was “Ferenczy36″, who claimed his/her Rockstar CD-Rom htat was mistakenly sent to Netflix came back broken. That might not have much to do with our discussion, but one of the replies (from “Mary”) described on April 23, 2011 that she had received 7 bad discs in a row. This got me to thinking: maybe disc-scratch negligence didn’t start after the Qwikster debacle, but in the months before the push for streaming, as a way to cause frustration and disenchantment with DVD rentals.
• A discussion started by “Caesar1951″ offers interesting insight into the state of Netflix blu-ray rentals. I can’t speak to blu-ray quality nearly as much personally, but I would have thought blu-rays would be in better condition than DVDs, since they would presumably be newer and in better condition. According to over half the people on that thread, Netflix blu-ray quality is low, too.
• PACMAN on August 3, 2011 complained about the low quality of discs, saying they’d had multiple problems. The reply on this thread by “R Smith” on January 15, 2012 is mostly gibberish, but if I’m deciphering correctly, it says, “They just don’t keep up the quality on their dvds…They’re…only interested in more money from instant play…They’ve really declined in (the) quality of their service.” I couldn’t have said it better myself, R Smith (well, I kind of did, but you get the point).

Again, I could be wrong. These are posters on a site called “Pissed Customer“, so I assume the site might attract more than its share of disgruntled people.

In my case, two of the bad discs I received were 10-year old tv series that probably had a lot of watching and a lot of wear-and-tear. But then, I’ve watched a lot Netflix discs over the years that meet the same description. I’ve never had anywhere close to 3 broken discs in 8-10 weeks time. Who knows–maybe I’m getting discs right after some lousy customer  who just-so-happens to like the same television programming.

It’s possible.

But it’s also possible that Netflix policy makers could see the value in letting the quality of their discs slowly erode, knowing that many customers will eventually get disgusted and thus switch to the more cost-effective streaming videos.

Call Me, We’ll Talk

Now that I think about it, a theory of malign neglect doesn’t sound so crazy after all. Even if Netflix hasn’t been doing this already, I’m sure if they ever got wind of this theory drifting through the Internet, Reed Hastings and his fellow policy makers would be discussing a new strategy at their next board meeting.

If so, let me tell the Board of Directors I’m extremely devious and this is just the tip of the iceberg. For much less than those other schemers you have working for you, I can come up with all kinds of crazy ways to mess with people’s minds.

In that case, Netflix should consider this my resume.

The fact is, David Lynch likes coffee. David Lynch likes coffee…a lot. In fact, the famed absurdist director loves coffee so much that’s he began marketing his own official brand here in the last few years.

The director found one particular coffee product he liked most of all (on blind taste tests). He contacted the manufacturers and, the next thing you knew, there was a David Lynch Signature Cup Coffee. As the director of Blue Velvet and other screen classics has said before, “I like cappuccino, actually. But even a bad cup of coffee is better than no coffee at all.”

Since the signature brand went on sell, David Lynch has gone to considerable lengths to promote his coffee, including directing his own product commercials (that are brilliantly disturbing). He’s appeared on tv shows promoting his coffee and even hijacked interviews for other projects by diverting talk to his signature product. With the film genius behind Eraserhead, this isn’t a mere marketing ploy. This is a lifelong fascination for brewed coffee beans, though.

Apparently, tons of coffee was a key to some of David Lynch’s early writing breakthroughs: “I’d have coffee, sometimes six cups, along with the shake, and I’d have sugar in my coffee. By then I would be pretty jazzed up, and I’d start writing down ideas.”

Odd David Lynch Commercial

I defy anyone to find an odder commercial than this David Lynch coffee commercial, whose director and actor is David Lynch himself. First of all, this is 4-minute commercial. Second, David Lynch is cupping a Barbie doll head in his hands, talking to the doll like he’s in love with her as creepy music plays in the background. Lynch keeps telling Barbie he’s going to get her a cup of coffee: “Let’s go get that cup of coffee, baby.”

On the positive side, it is organic coffee.

This isn’t the first coffee commercial David Lynch has directed. The oddball director, known for his coffee obsession, once directed this Japanese coffee commercial by David Lynch. You might be disappointed, though–one person described it as the least surreal thing on Japanese television (they were right).

David Lynch at Book Soup

You can tell David Lynch has a real obsession for brewed coffee beans. Here’s a clip from of David Lynch’s Book Soup visit in which he talks about his signature coffee cup. Book Soup is a book store on Sunset Boulevard which touts itself as “The Bookseller to the Great & Infamous”.

David Lynch Says Water Is Good

The coffee tangent has taken David Lynch to new beverage avenues. In one interview, he discussed how New York City has good water for coffee brewing, then diverted the conversation to the subject of water itself. Making a point about all human life–nay, virtually all known life itself–David Lynch went on to say, “We’ve got to drink something. Do you just drink water, sometimes? It’s very good for you.”

That’s profound stuff and people would be wise to listen.

Java Distribution – David Lynch Signature Cup Coffee

Java Distribution doesn’t just sell David Lynch Signature Cup Coffee. Java Distribution makes office sales or home deliveries throughout the United States and Canada.

With no minimum orders and no contracts, you can purchase espresso, decaffeinated blends, certified organics, and flavored coffees in three different flavors (vanilla, chocolate, and hazelnut). You can call Java Distribution via phone at 303-494-6348 or using the fax machine at 303-494-4179. The email address at Java Distribution is javadist@mho.com. These are distributors, so I couldn’t tell you where you’d need to contact David Lynch about his coffee products.

Now I’ve had a cup of coffee from this seller and, while it’s good, I didn’t find it an earth-shattering experience. But then, I don’t love cappuccino the way David Lynch does.

If that’s not enough, I’ll leave you with one more David Lynch quote about cups of coffee: “If you turn away from them for one second, they go cold on you.”

David Lynch Albums – David Lynch CDs

In short, David Lynch is no stranger to music. He wrote music for Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me, Mulholland Drive, Rabbits, and Wild at Heart. He also co-released a 2001 rock album alongside John Neff (titled “BlueBob“). No joke–David Lynch plays guitar on the album “upside down and backwards”.

This was followed by David Lynch’s 2010 solo album, Crazy Clown Time. Crazy Clown Time is described as an electronic blues album. One track features Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. In 2011, David Lynch released the 11-track album This Train. He also produced two electro pop songs back in 2010, called “I Know” and “Good Day Today”.

Lost Highway Rammstein Video

For those who enjoyed the mundane absurdity of David Lynch’s coffee obsession, I thought I’d point out a music video with scenes from Lost Highway in it. Not that this has anything to do with coffee, but for those who’ve watched all the David Lynch films and think there’s nothing new under the Sun with David Lynch, here’s something you might not have seen: a Rammstein video directed by David Lynch.

If you’re not familiar with Rammstein, they’re classified as an industrial band, but Rammstein is placed in the German Neue Deutsche Harte scene. Rammstein is also known for its controversial rock videos, including numerous cases of male and female nudity (“Man Against Man”, “Pussy”, “Mein Land”) and the infamous video where they poke fun of the Armin Meiwes cannibalism trial (“Mein Teil”).

This has landed Rammstein on the Index of the Federal Department for Media Harmful to Young Persons (aka the “Bundesprufstelle für jugendgefahrdende Medien” or GPjm), a German government ministry which says their albums can’t be sold to German minors. As band member Paul H. Landers put it, “We like being on the fringes of bad taste”.

By comparison, David Lynch’s contribution to the “Rammstein” video (that’s the name of the song) seems kind of tame. Still, if you enjoyed Lost Highway, you’ll want to see the video. The song “Heirate Mich” also appeared on the Lost Highway soundtrack, which serves as an excellent peek into the industrial music scene in the mid-1990s.

David Lynch and Michael Jackson

David Lynch put together teaser video for the 1995 Michael Jackson “Dangerous” video. I’ve seen him listed as the director of this video, but so many versions of the Dangerous album and subsequent videos were put out that I can’t tell if Lynch only directed the commercial or one of the videos on the Dangerous album. I would appreciate anyone with the answer providing me with that.

David Lynch and Wicked Game

Chris Isaac’s Wicked Game appeared in the 1990 film “Wild at Heart” by David Lynch. Lynch even directed a Wicked Game music video, but it’s not the more famous video that had Chris Isaak and Helena Christensen rolling around on a beach in black-and-white (and little else). The Wicked Game single wasn’t much of a hit when it first came out in 1989, but when the song appeared on the Wild at Heart soundtrack, an Atlanta dj who liked David Lynch films started giving the song air play. Soon enough, Wicked Game was a runaway hit.

Shot in the Back of the Head – Moby Video

The video for Moby’s 2009 single, Shot in the Back of the Head, was directed by David lynch. In this case, the video involves crude drawings involving a love affair between a man and a woman’s head. That’s classic David Lynch. The video was released specifically on Pitchfork TV.

First of all, I’m somewhat amazed at how prosaic his life really is. Actors and artists who spend time with David Lynch reflect on how normal of a guy he is, right down to the fact his favorite meal is a quarter pounder from McDonald’s.

That’s hard to reconcile with David Lynch’s films. Once you start to read what the 60-something director has to say about his career, his take on Hollywood, and his philosophy of life, it’s hard to imagine him as “just another guy”.  Those who love David Lynch–and those who hate his movies–should find this list of David Lynch quotes, quotations, and sayings illuminating.

One thing is certain, David Lynch is no put-on. I can’t remember who said it about him, but one foreign producer described David Lynch as “an American original”. That might be what makes him stand out from the crowd is that David Lynch has his vision and he follows that vision without any compromise. It may not fit into any neat package for the promo people, but then, the promo people usually suck.

David Lynch on the Absurb

“The concept of absurdity is something I’m attracted to.”

“Absurdity is what I like most in life, and there’s humor in struggling in ignorance. If you saw a man repeatedly running into a wall until he was a bloody pulp, after a while it would make you laugh because it becomes absurd.”

David Lynch on Hats

“Hats–they’re great! I wore this real cool one constantly for six years–a ten gallon cowboy hat. I love Forties movies when everyone wore a hat. Now there are no more hats, and that’s a real shame.”

David Lynch on Insects

“A National Geographic photo of a garden is just the most beautiful thing. But there are a lot of things attacking a garden. There’s a lot of slaughter and death, worms and grubs. A lot of stuff going on. It’s a torment.”

David Lynch on Machinery

“I love to look at factories and turbines and things.”

David Lynch on Cooking

“I don’t allow cooking in my house. The smell. The smell of cooking – when you have drawings, or even writings – that smell would go all over my work. So I eat things that you don’t have to light a fire for. Or else I order a pizza. The speed at which I eat it, it doesn’t smell up the place too bad. The smell doesn’t last too long.”

David Lynch on Coffee

“A beautiful addiction.”

David Lynch on Cows

“My cow is not pretty, but it is pretty to me.”

David Lynch on Bodybags

“The bags had a big zipper, and they’d open the zipper and shoot water into the bags with big hoses. With the zipper open and the bags sagging on the pegs, it looked like these big smiles. I called them the smiling bags of death.”

David Lynch on Sex

“Sex is a doorway to something so powerful and mystical, but movies usually depict it in a completely flat way.”

David Lynch on Actors

“Somewhere in talking and rehearsing, there is a magical moment where actors catch a current, they’re on the right road. If they really catch it, then whatever they do from then on is correct and it all comes out of them from that point.”

David Lynch on The World

“This whole world is wild at heart and weird on top.”

David Lynch on New York City

“I grew up in a perfect world, other things were a contrast. When I visited Brooklyn as a little kid, it scared the hell out of me. In the subway, I remember a wind from the approaching train, then a smell and sound. I had a taste of horror every time I went to New York.”

David Lynch on Philadelphia

“I had my first thrilling thought in Philadelphia.”

“[Philadelphia is] horrible, but in a very interesting way. There were places there that had been allowed to decay, where there was so much fear and crime that just for a moment there was an opening to another world. It was fear, but it was so strong, and so magical, like a magnet, that your imagination was always sparking in Philadelphia…I just have to think of Philadelphia now, and I get ideas, I hear the wind, and I’m off into the darkness somewhere.”

“We lived cheap, but the city was full of fear. A kid was shot to death down the street, and the chalk marks around where he’d lain stayed on the sidewalk for five days. We were robbed twice, had windows shot out and a car stolen.”

“It all started for me in Philadelphia because it’s old enough, and it’s got enough things in the air to really work on itself. It’s decaying but it’s fantastically beautiful, filled with violence, hate and filth.”

David Lynch on the Outdoors

“I got the woods out of my system. Now I like cities. I still like the woods though.”

David Lynch on the Meaning of Life

“We’re all like detectives in life. There’s something at the end of the trail that we’re all looking for.”

David Lynch on Ideas

“The ideas dictate everything, you have to be true to that or you’re dead.”

David Lynch on Childhood

“I love child things because there’s so much mystery when you’re a child. When you’re a child, something as simple as a tree doesn’t make sense. You see it in the distance and it looks small, but as you go closer, it seems to grow – you haven’t got a handle on the rules when you’re a child. We think we understand the rules when we become adults but what we really experienced is a narrowing of the imagination.”

David Lynch on His Own Aging

“Between 9 and 17 most of the time, and sometimes around six. When you’re six you can see down the street and you’re aware there may be another block, but the world is pretty much two blocks big.”

David Lynch on Death

“Death in my mind isn’t a finality. There’s a continuum: It’s like at night, you go to sleep and in the daytime you wake up, or whenever you wake up, and it’s a new day.”

David Lynch on Music

“Lately I feel films are more and more like music. Music deals with abstractions and, like film, it involves time. It has many different movements, it has much contrast. And through music you learn that, in order to get a particular beautiful feeling, you have to have started far back, arranging certain things in a certain way. You can’t just cut to it.”

“Well, music gives you an indication of the mood, again, and if you lock out and find things out upfront they can help you tremendously.”

“Every note of music has enough breath to carry you away and as a director, all you have to do is let the right wind blow at the right time.”

David Lynch on Television

“I didn’t watch much TV as a kid and I don’ t watch it now. I don’ t find anything beautiful or unique to the medium, and the only thing you can do on TV that you can’t do in film is make a continuing story–which is so cool.”

“Television provides the opportunity for an ongoing story – the opportunity to meld the cast and the characters and a world, and to spend more time there.”

David Lynch on Filmmaking

“I really believe that even if you just have a little bit of money there are ways to get into that film and make it work without a compromise. It may take a long, long, long time, like in Eraserhead. We didn’t have the money but we had the time.”

David Lynch on Happy Endings

“Are we in the business of falling in love with stories? What if every movie had to have a positive message at the end? If we only put out pleasant films, nothing would really stop, except that people would stop going to the movies.”

David Lynch on Movie Genres

“I love Surrealism and I love Expressionism, but, I had never seen ‘The Cabinet of Dr Caligari’ until after I had done Eraserhead”. Ideas are the thing, and they just come out in a certain way, based on what you love and what you’re feeling. Later on, you find out that you’re in some sort of school!”

David Lynch on His Influences

“Directors who have inspired me include Billy Wilder, Federico Fellini, lngmar Bergman, John Ford, Orson Welles, Werner Herzog, Stanley Kubrick, Alfred Hitchcock, Francis Ford Coppola and Ernst Lubitsch. In art school, I studied painters like Edward Hopper, who used urban motifs, Franz Kafka is my favorite novelist. My approach to film stems from my art background, as I go beyond the story to the sub-conscious mood created by sound and images.”

“Philadelphia, more than any filmmaker, influenced me. It’s the sickest, most corrupt, decaying, fear-ridden city imaginable. I was very poor and living in bad areas. I felt like I was constantly in danger. But it was so fantastic at the same time.”

David Lynch on Meaning in His Films

“I’m of the Western Union school. If you want to send a message, go to Western Union…you have to be free to think things up.

“It makes me uncomfortable to talk about meanings and things. It’s better not to know so much about what things mean. Because the meaning, it’s a very personal thing and the meaning for me is different than the meaning for somebody else.”

“They come along, these ideas, and they hook themselves together, and the unifying thing is the euphoria they give you or the repulsion they give you…you have to just trust yourself.”

David Lynch on Duality

“We all have at least two sides. The world we live in is a world of opposites. And the trick is to reconcile those opposing things. I’ve always liked both sides. In order to appreciate one you have to know the other. The more darkness you can gather up, the more light you can see too.”

David Lynch on Film Noir

“There’s a beguiling and magnetic mood. There’s so much darkness, and there’s so much room to dream. They’re mysteries, and there are people in trouble, and uneasiness.”  

David Lynch on Mysteries

“I love the process of going into mystery.”

“The more unknowable the mystery, the more beautiful it is.”

“Secrets and mysteries provide a beautiful corridor where you can float out. The corridor expands and many, many wonderful things can happen.”

“To me a mystery is like a magnet. Whenever there is something that’s unknown, it has a pull to it. For instance, if you were in a room and there was a doorway open and stairs going down and the light just fell away, you didn’t even see the bottom, where the stairs ended; you’d be very much tempted to go down there.”

David Lynch on His Own Oddness

“There’s always the danger that I’ll be forever labelled resolutely odd. Because these days there is no time for shading in people, and you’re put in a little box. I’m always put in the category of strange, which I find a little odd. I´m a little different from that, I think.”

Top 10 David Lynch

Those who want to read more about David Lynch should look at this “Top 10 David Lynch Movies” post. If you prefer to see the quieter, slice of life David Lynch, check out this post I linked to above from the David Lynch Coffee quote. Yes, David Lynch has his own official brand of coffee…and he sells it in stores and everything.

A more novel approach might be an attempt at a more literal, analytical dissection of dreams through filmmaking, but that brings me to a theory. There are three types of directors: those who pose questions, those who give us answers, and those who give us a show. Dream films are about presenting watchers with a set of questions that we answer ourselves. We’re given images and interpret them ourselves.

Arizona Dream (1993)
If it’s got Johnny Depp in it, then you know it has to be oddball cinema.

Arizona Dream has a 86% positive rating on Rotten Tomatoes, which may rank it among the highest-rated of strange movies. Emir Kusturica directs Johnny Depp, Faye Dunaway, Vincent Gallo, Jerry Lewis, and Paulina Poriskova through a movie about a fish, Eskimo dreams, and lots of other strangeness. One of the dream scenes at the end of the film might be considered a ghost sequence, but I’ll let you be the judge of that.

Brazil (1985)

Brazil is the story of a low-level government functionary (Jonathan Pryce) who has daydreams about a saving a damsel in distress–that is, a beautiful maiden. Robert de Niro and Katherine Helmond also play key roles in this black comedy set in a dystopian, even Orwellian future (though it’s Orwell turned on his ear). Terry Gilliam of “Monty Python” fame directs in one of his trademark tales about the industrial world we live in.

A Waking Life (2001)

This trippy film written and directed by Richard Linklater is about a young man slowly waking up from his dreams. This becomes an exploration of everything from lucid dreaming to existentialism to politics and even post-humanity. The film was acted by real people, then rotoscoped based on their acting. The cast include Ethan Hawke, Julie Delpy, Adam Goldberg, and Steven Soderbergh. Wiley Wiggins plays the protagonist.

You know a movie is getting heady and philosophical when it has an all-star cast of living philosophers. Real-life professional thinkers like David Sosa, Kim Krizan, Robert C. Solomon, and Louis H. Mackey make appearances.

Richard Linklater would go back to this well again in 2006 for his A Scanner Darkly, which I’m going to have to watch again, because I turned it off the first time. (Something about having Keanu Reeves trying to philosophy just turned me off–God bless him.) I preferred this A Waking Life. If you watched A Scanner Darkly or think this sounds like drivel, I’ll point out it does have an 80% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, though I think critics sometimes give a pass to mediocre movies if they’re supposed to be smart. Just my opinion, though.

Black Moon (1975)

“Black Moon” could also make a list called “Movies about Unicorns” or “Films about Alice in Wonderland”, which should give you some idea of the oddities you’ll find in this production. Louis Malle was the director of Black Moon, which is about a girl trying to escape a civil war between men and women and ends up in another world…a kind of dream world.

“Black Moon” stars Joe Dallesandro, Alexandra Stewart, and Therese Giehse and was supposed to comment on the womens liberation movement of the 1970s. If you can come to conclusions on the movement based on what you saw in the film, write to me and I’ll give you a shout-out, because I couldn’t make heads nor tails of it. I did like the inclusion of Joe Dellasandro in the cast.

Joe Dellasandro is the former male prostitute turned underground film sex symbol of the 1970s. He starred in movies like Flesh for Frankenstein and Blood for Dracula (also known as “Andy Warhol’s Frankenstein” and “Andy Warhol’s Dracula”), where he’s famous (kind o) for his bizarre portrayal of a communist hero fighting that dirty aristocrat, Dracula. Yikes!

Anyway, Black Moon is a weird exploration of dreams, but it can’t be too whacky, since I saw part of it one night on Turner Movie Classics.

The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie (1972)

“The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie” won the Academy Award for Best Foreign Film along with an Oscar for Best Screenplay. The director is once again Luis Bunuel some 43 years after his surrealist masterpiece (alongside Salvador Dali), An Andalusian Dog. That’s good training for this story of a gathering of five upper-class bourgeois friends and the dreams of four of the group. The narrative doesn’t follow a logical path, though the characters seem to accept it as such. If you get put-off by such traits in film characters, you might not like this one. Still, when you’re watching a movie about dreams, you almost have to expect certain flights of fancy with the narration.

Elements of the plot involve a fictional republic, a theatrical stage, a female terrorist, sex, cocaine trafficking, a remote country road, more sex, and social snobbery. It’s almost like someone took a hat full of story elements and drew a certain number at random. Still, I’ll give Luis Bunuel credit for making entertaining dream sequences.

Odd Films about Dreams

These cinema classics have appeared on several lists of the weirdest films in the world. It’s no coincidence they all happen to be about dreams, or that’s how I interpreted these DVDs. Tell me if I’m wrong, people.

I know I’m overlooking some great movies about dreams, so I encourage readers to reach out and let me know about oversights. I’d like to see what other directors have to say about the human subconscious and what that has to say about our waking state.

Anyone who’s ever seen Troma films knows what they’re getting into: blood, gore, gratuitous nudity, and probably some gross-out moments. Father’s Day, marketed by Troma as an answer to Mother’s Day, fulfills all those descriptions.

I didn’t expect much from Father’s Day and ended up being pleasantly surprised. When I saw that the director was “Astron-6“, I thought to myself, “Oh, no, this was done by some artsy European director.”

It turns out Astron-6 is a movie making outfit from Canada whose taste in film blends nicely with Troma Films.

TASTE WARNING: Before I discuss the movie too much, let me warn anyone who’s easily offended to stop reading. Don’t let your children read this review, because they’ll be scarred for life. Since this is Oddfilms, you shouldn’t have to be told. Let’s start.

Father’s Day Plot Synopsis

Father’s Day revolves around a serial killer named “Chris Fuchman”, who goes around town sodomizing and then killing fathers. Years ago, Fuchman murdered the father of Ahab (Adam Brooks) and Ahab is out for revenge. This is one of those stories where the boy grows up with one goal–to become a bad-ass and get revenge. Made an orphan by Fuckman’s evil, Ahab traveled the world, hid out in the woods, and learned the art of making maple syrup. Meanwhile, Ahab’s younger sister (Amy Groening), is packed off to an orphanage and grows up to become a stripper.

Also meanwhile, Twink (Conor Sweeney) is a good-for-nothing who gives men blowjobs and argues with his concerned father, played ably by Billy Sadoo. When Twink’s Dad is brutally sodomized and murdered by Chris Fuchman, Twink gets in on the revenge game.

The monster-hunting trio is completed when Father John Sullivan (Matthew Kennedy) gets in the game. One of my favorites was Twink’s partner in slime, Walnut (Garrett Hnatiuk).

My favorite character of the movie was Father O’Flynn (Kevin Anderson), the Irish Catholic priest who made pronouncements from his deathbed. The blind father’s eyes were glowing, making it appear that his feeding tube must have been pumping radioactive material into him. Cool visual, though.

This group goes off to find Chris Fuchman, learn about his connection to the Fuckmanicus, and put a stop to his evil. Along the way, we get to see lots of bare breasts, more dingus than I’d care to have seen, and lots of gore. You also find out what Ahab’s tasty berries are all about. Father’s Day is epic, even cosmic, in scope, as the action ranges all the way from Heaven to Hell and everywhere in between. You also get to see Troma Entertainment’s co-founder, Lloyd Kaufman, play both God and the Devil. Good stuff.

Father’s Day Review

Father’s Day is a revenge tale mixed with a slasher film. Along the way, Father’s Day becomes complete farce, but that’s a good thing. You could tell that the cast and crew of Father’s Day had a good time making this movie, which translates to entertainment for the viewers. I won’t say that a cast having fun always equals entertaining (see those godawful “Ocean’s Eleven” films), but it usually helps when a film like this doesn’t take itself too seriously. There’s nothing worse than the pretentious bad horror movie–and this isn’t it.

Father’s Day, like all Troma films, is low-budget. You won’t always see a lot of skill in the acting and direction, though the film had better acting than most low-budget horror shows. Some of the dramatic shots and poses were top-notch, too. All in all, Troma Film’s Father’s Day should entertain most horror watchers. It beats the hell of out Land of the Dead.

Random Thoughts on Father’s Day

• Ahab looks like a cross between Jason Lee and Jeremy Piven–with an eyepatch.
• Chelsea looks a little like Willow from Buffy if she were really hot, brunette, and a stripper.
• Twink appears to be the lovechild of Jake Bussey and Napoleon Dynamite.
• Father John Sullivan looks like a wimpy version of Christian Bayle.
• I kept wondering why Sleazy Mary showed up so much–I felt like I was supposed to know who she was. Sleazy Mary was played by Conor Sweeney’s sister. Despite being in a non-hot role, I thought she was kinda attractive.
• Yes, Chris Fuchman does look a little like a fat Dwight Schrute.
• Father’s Day won Best Film and five other awards of Toronto After Dark 2011.

About the Director – Astron-6

Astron-6 is a collaboration of five Canadian actors and filmmakers: Matthew Kennedy, Adam Brooks, Conor Sweeney, Steven Kostanski, and Jeremy Gillespie. Conor Sweeney’s sister, Meredith Sweeney, is occasionally seen in photographs of the bunch. She’s listed as an “Astron-6 favorite”. The Adam Brooks in Astron-6 is not the Australian politician or the Canadian director and screenwriter, no matter what Wikipedia says. Matt Kennedy is also not a retired American soccer player.

The ploy worked in some cases and seemed silly in others. Thanks to Billy Crystal and a few new ideas, this was a lot better program than the last two years.

Nick Nolte on the Red Carpet

Nick Nolte’s performance in Warrior was more impressive than I thought. Anyone who saw his appearance on the red carpet realized he’s either a losing his mind or losing his hearing. Louise Roe interviewed Nolte on the red carpet, asking him questions about his pinball machine and his pet crows. Nick Nolte seemed befuddled through most of the interview, though I get the idea he couldn’t hear what was being said (everyone else could hear).

Nick Nolte got animated when he talked about his pet crow, John David Crow II. He also enjoyed talking about his pinball machine that won’t go on tilt, so you can run up big scores, he explained. But he couldn’t seem to figure out what the questions were during an awkward give-and-take. Or maybe he’s just crazy.

Either way, I couldn’t help but notice Louise Roe was trying to bring out Nolte’s quirky side. Everyone else was asked questions about either their movie or their dress. He’s asked about his hawk-sized crow and his pinball hobby.

Bradley Cooper, Roulette Dealer

Bradley Cooper looked like he should be a roulette dealer or an Old West bartender with that mustache he was sporting. Is he filming some movie that requires that piece of hair or is that a fashion statement?

Bootylicious J-Lo and Cameron Diaz

When it cut back to Jennifer Lopez and Cameron Diaz to announce Best Makeup, they had their backs to the audience, showing their booties. I suppose J-Lo’s butt has that reputation it has to live up to. As for Cameron Diaz, I don’t know that’s exactly her profile, but I’m sure she’d been drinking by that part of the night, so it stands to reason.

By the way, does any 40-ish actress look like she’s lived a harder life than Cameron Diaz? I just get the idea she’s partied pretty hard these past 15 years. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I remember she was so freaking hot in The Mask. Not so much anymore. I understand, forty does that to a person.

Not the Billy Crystal Jokes

Some people have criticized Billy Crystal for insensitive jokes or described them as awkward moments, but I didn’t see it that way. He’s being a comedian, so making fun of an 82-year old man’s age (who obviously still gets around really well) or Jonah Hill’s weight is not off-limits. People are too sensitive these days. Human needs a little bite to it. At least it wasn’t penis humor like the women from Bridesmaids.

Admiral Aladeen vs Ryan Seacrest

Sascha Baron Cohen pranked Ryan Seacrest on the red carpet before the Oscars, which deprived us of any pranks he might have pulled inside the Kodak Theater. Admiral Aladeen was showing Ryan Seacrest an urn when he bumbled and poured the contents of the urn on Seacrest’s tuxedo. As he continued to talk and Ryan Seacrest tried to break for commercial, Oscars security skirted Sascha Baron Cohen away.

I can’t help but think this event was staged, though I get the idea Seacrest might not have known it was staged. Either way, Ryan Seacrest probably needs someone to prank him every once in a while. We’re talking about a guy who got famous off American Idol, then was in the right place at the right time when Casey Kasem retired, then was in the right place when the immortal Dick Clark retired. I have nothing against Ryan Seacrest, but that kind of good fortune should require a few minor karmic paybacks every once in a while.

Pan Am Stewardesses

Say what you will about the popcorn ushers in stewardess outfits that looked like they were from a Britney Spears video, but the first thing I said to the room was, “Some airline’s going to bring those out of retirement one day and make a fortune.” Not that I really believe that, but the point being, they were hot. I mean, that was a really hot Britney Spears video.

Hottest at the Oscars

I thought Michelle Williams looked both classy and hot in her short hair and red dress. Mila Jovavich looked stunning, as always. Rooney Mara looked striking with her bangs, but I wouldn’t say she looked exactly hot (there’s a difference–I’m saying she stood out). Angelina Jolie looked like the skin was falling off her bones–she was emaciated, despite her strange attempt to look hot with that leg thrust thing (a move that was mocked by the screenwriters of “The Descendents”). Stacy Keibler, George Clooney’s date, looked stunning as always. Gwenneth Paltrow’s hair looked regal.

Oscar Winners – A Night in Paris

This ended up being a night for the French, though. Not only did Frenchmen win Best Actor and Best Director and a French film won Best Movie, but American films set in Paris also won other awards–a lot of them. Jean Dujardin won the Academy Award for Best Actor for his potrayal of a silent movie actor in The Artist, while Michael Hazanavicius won the Best Director Oscar for directing “The Artist”. The same film won Best Motion Picture.

Martin Scorcese’s “Hugo“, which tells the story of a boy living in Paris, France in 1931, won five Oscars. Most of these awards were for technical merits like sound editing, visual effects, and cinematography, but the blu-ray distributors can post “Winner of 5 Academy Awards” on the front of the box.

Woody Allen’s “Midnight in Paris” also won for Best Original Screenplay. As you might have guessed, this film was set in Paris, France, too. In this case, Owen Wilson plays a screenwriter in who is transported to Paris in the 1920s, where he meets such famous luminaries as F. Scott Fitzgerald, Pablo Picazzo, Cole Porter, Josephine Baker, and (at the crux of the story) Ernest Hemingway.

Oscars Review

All in all, Paris and France were the featured elements of the night. Nobody acted too crazy, which means Billy Crystal didn’t much material to improv with. That isn’t to say Billy Crystal didn’t put on a good show, because he did. It just wasn’t one for the ages.

Billy Crystal Review

I was glad to see someone who was competent and comfortable on the stage do his thing. Two years ago, I came away thinking either Steve Martin or Alec Baldwin would have done a better job alone. Last year, I felt uncomfortable for James Franco and Anne Hatheway the whole time, hoping they’d succeeded, then seeing them go down in flames. So it was nice to sit back and watch an old hand take a comfortable stroll through Movieland.

Oscar Retrospectives

By the way, I enjoyed seeing actors talk about the first movie they saw. I thought that was a great idea. I’m going to have to see “The War of the Gargantuas“, which Brad Pitt talked about in some detail. I came away thinking Brad Pitt would do really well in a job interview, but I guess that’s pretty obvious.

Also, my Oscar-watching group quickly figured out Morgan Freeman would have to be 10 years older to have seen the original King Kong (1933) when he was 6 & 1/2 years old. He was born in 1937, so you don’t have to look it up.