The Alphabetical Listing of All Our Recommendations

last update 23 February 2008

Select a letter to search for a title:

A|B|C|D|E|F|G|H| I |J|K|L|M|N|O|P|Q|R|S|T|U|V|W|X|Y|Z

1 - 9 

• 101 Reykjavik Undoubtedly the best Icelandic film of the year, this is the tale of Hylrun and his rudderless life. Thirty something Hylnur (Hilmir Snaer Gudnason) is unemployed, lives at his mom's house and spends his time wisely, watching porn films and drinking beer. He has a semi- girlfriend, Hofy, played by Thrudur Vilhjalmsdottir, who eventually just gives up on him. Things start to get interesting when his mom brings home a girlfriend, Lola, a hot Flamenco dance instructor. Well, on New Years eve, mom is away and things tend to get a little rowdy in Reykjavik, and the drunken Lola (Victoria Abril) and Hyrur connect. A child ensues, and his mom and Lola decide to raise the kid as their son. That makes Hylnur the father of his brother or some such thing and he short circuits and actually moves out. This is the directorial debut of Baltasar Kormakur and tastefully laced throughout by various renditions of the Kinks' song "Lola".  90 minutes, Rated III, in Icelandic and some English w/subtitles DVD
• 12 Monkeys All right, maybe you understood this one the first time you saw it, but most of us watched it at least twice. Brad Pitt plays an excellent wacko and you can view this one just for the prison scene which shows what Terry Gilliam can do with a decent budget. Bruce Willis turns up the volume on his Pulp Fiction persona for his role as Cole the time traveling prisoner.
• 2 Days in The Valley Plenty of twists and some truly bizarre characters make this a worthwhile waste of your time. I'm fairly certain there's a bad cop in the mix. Directed by John Herzfeld, the cast includes James Spader, Teri Hatcher, Danny Aielo, Louise Fletcher but not Steve Buscemi. 1996 Rated R 108 Minutes
• 200 Motels Frank Zappa and all his buddies had a lot of fun and they videotaped it so we could all enjoy it too. Look for Ringo Starr, Keith Moon and I believe Theodore Bikel in this Mothers of Invention extravaganza. Unrated about 80 minutes (we need a copy of this)
• 301/302 Named after two adjacent apartments, this Korean tid bit is more subtle than a Jeffrey Daumer documentary. The tenants are quite different. 302 is a reclusive writer who is past bulimic, she pukes at the very thought of food. Soon-Hee is 301, a youngish divorcee who loves to cook for her loved ones. She feels 302 is rejecting her love, by failing to enjoy her intricate meals. To prove her love, 302 makes the ultimate sacrifice (in a Christ-like manner) . Even in subtitles, this movie loses very little of the emotion it jams down your throat. 1995
• 303 Fear Faith Revenge Five new students at the exclusive St George Boarding school are curious about six students who died at the school in 1952. They use a Ouija board to contact one of the dead students and they open a door to the past. All hell breaks lose and one of the five becomes possessed and the past events begin anew. Fairly stock horror stuff with an Asian flair. Thai w/subtitles. 93 minute Rated IIb
• 6ixtynin9  Tom was sitting home, bemoaning her lost job when someone leaves a box of money on her doorstep. A bit of a moral dilemma, but, she decides to keep it. It isn't long before two thugs turn up and ask for it back. Well, somehow they end up dead, and she stuffs them into the closet and goes about her business. Deciding it is in her best interest, Tom methodically arranges to get out of town, buying a black market passport to speed her departure. Thing do not go smoothly or , hell, why would you watch it to the end. It smacks a little of a Thai version of True Romance, but it is quite good. 1999 Rated IIb 90 minutes Thai w/subtitles

A

Acacia Korean director Park kyi-hung steers this unsettled tale of a middle aged couple who adopt a young boy Jin-sung  who has a strong affinity for trees. There is a barren acacia tree in their yard that he speaks with and nurtures back to health all the while carrying a beetle around in his palm. Like many Korean films it starts off slowly but from the beginning there is a subtle trace of dread, that you know will escalate accompanied by eerie music. When he is not talking to the barren tree, the boy plays with Min-jee the hemophiliac little girl next door. Before the tree bears fruit, his adopted mother becomes miraculously pregnant which results in Jin-sung acting up. The birth of the baby and all the attention lead to some obvious problems with some unforeseen consequences. Korean w/subtitles 113 minutes 2003 Rated age 15+

Addicted to Murder This one fit in the Vampire category as well as Serial Killers and perhaps Losers too. Poor Joel is a serial killer and perhaps a vampire simultaneously creating a major self image problem. Written produced and directed by Kevin Lindenmuth you may have to look in the horror section to find a copy. There is also a sequel by the same suspects oddly titled Addicted to Murder II. 1995 Not Rated 90 Minutes Brimstone Productions

Adrenaline Drive There seems to be an abundance of movies that combine large bags of money and high speed car chases. This is a Japanese entry for this new Oscar category. Suzuki has a boring life, no lovelife and a crappy job with a boss that constantly brow beats him. This all ends when he rearends a car owned by a yakuza (Japanese mobster). To repay his debt, Suzuki is pressed in to service by the mob  and his life will never be the same. Mainly it is a love story, but it would take longer to explain than if you just watched it. Directed by Shinobu Yaguchi. 1998 Japanese with English subtitles.

The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across The Eighth Dimension A rather lengthy title for a durable hip Sci Fi spoof. Aurra sent us this poignant synopsis:  My favorite UFO film is the Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the Eighth Dimension. Red 'Lectroids in bad plaid polyester suits vs. Black 'Lectroids with dreadlocks and Jamacian accents. Every single one of them named John. Plus Buckaroo and his Hong Kong Caveliers, and the Blue Blaze Irregulars! Mwhahahahahaa! Thanks Aurora 1983 Rated PG 100 minutes

The Addiction What the heck is this movie about ? Directed by Abel Ferrara, it could have been an NYU film school project. This pretentious vampiress can't help but quote Kierkegard while seducing her latest victims. Anyway, her drug of choice is hemoglobin, you can sort it out. Christopher Walken is in this one, too, but then, whose counting? 1995 B&W 82 minutes

Aguirre - Wrath of God Did you ever meet a conquistador who spoke German ? Werner Herzog creates an interesting story from the slim historical record of the errant Spaniard. Klaus Kinski plays the rather Teutonic looking Aguirre. Also recommended is a film by Herzog that was called The Enigma of Kaspar Hauser, but keeps resurfacing with different English titles. It definitely needs no subtitles.

Alive In the interest of completeness, we'll include this one, but it ain't recommended. Uruguayan rugby soccer players crash in the Andes and eat their goalie and the whole forward line. Oh yeah, it's a true story.

All Things Fair Stig is an attractive young man in high school in Sweden during the war. He catches the eye of all the girls who are no competition for his flirtatious teacher. She keeps him after class and his teenage infatuation increases with her attentions. It's apparent their attraction is eventually going to get them in trouble, so if that interests you, be sure and find a copy. Most men fantasize an adolescence like this one. Directed by Johan Widerberg. Rated R

Amateur If you have never seen a Hal Hartley film, this is a great starting point. Martin Donovan wanders into a Manhattan diner, battered and amnesiac with a pocketful of Dutch Guilders. An ex-nun Isabelle Hubert interrupts her pornographic writings to tend to him. She takes him home and nurses him as the pieces start to emerge. It seems his ex wife Sophia ( Elina Lowensohn from Pulp Fiction) pushed him out a window. He was apparently her handler, drug provider, and producer of her porn movies. His name is Thomas and he is wanted by an international cartel of mobster accountants. It is all too tangled to describe and very engrossing. 1994 Rated R 105 minutes 1/99

American Buffalo A powerful David Mamet play transferred to the screen with Dustin Hoffman (Teach) and Dennis Franz (Don) in the key roles. In a junk store run by Don, they plan the robbery of a coin collection. Don had enlisted the help of a kid Bobby, (Sean Nelson) to help with the heist but Teach convinces him that he is the man for the job. You will seldom see acting this good and dialog so poignant in one place. Don't expect an action movie, it is, after all, a play.  The interior of the junk store is perfect. 1996 87 minute 

American Desi Krishnagopal Reddy (Deep Kitdare) is anxious to get out from under his immigrant parents control so he can shed the last remnants of his Indian Heritage. He and hid friend head off for their freshman year at Middlesex College in New Jersey with great excitement and big plans. Kris, as he prefers to be called, is horrified to find his three roommates are a Sikh, a Muslim and an Indian homeboy. Trying to distance himself from Indian culture only alienates his roomies, who refer to him as an ABCD short for American Born Confused Desi. It is not until he falls in love with India born Nina (Purva Bedi) that he comes to terms with the benefits of his heritage. The film is well written and quite funny. There is a similar Canadian film "Marsala" that takes a different slant on this same theme. A filim directed by Piyush Dinker Pandya 90 minutes  English 1999 Unrated 

American Movie This is the true story of Mark Borchardt's obsession with making his own films in Nowhere, Wisconsin. This man is truly  monomaniacal about finishing the film he started a few years back. He presses his aged relatives and addled friends into performing and financing what appears to be a truly awful horror movie entitled Coven. This obsession is destroying his life and his finances; yet you find yourself rooting for this guy who would just be another loser if he were stripped of this one idea. It might even be called inspirational, really. Filmed by Chris Smith and Sarah Price.   Rated R 104 min 

American Perfekt Jake (Robert Forster) can't make a decision without flipping a coin, which is pretty odd for a psychiatrist. He meets up with Sandra ( Amanda Plummer) when he helps her out in the desert. They book a double room at the nearest hotel, and we never see her again. The next morning Jakes meets Alice (Fairuza Balk) , who has come to meet her sister, Sandra. Jake says nothing about Sandra and the two of them head out together pursued by a pissed off con man. Well paced, moderately anxiety inducing and kind of entertaining. 100 minutes 1999 Rated R

Anarchy TV Directed by Jonathan Blank this is Zappa family production with no less than three of Frank's kids in the cast, not to mention Alan Thicke. Essentially a pointless romp with lots of  grandstanding, bad acting, sophomoric humor and embarrassingly pointless nudity as some radical student types retake a TV station that was co-opted by televangelist Thicke.  Somehow they even got Timothy Leary to do a walk on. Yikes. Better you should watch Blank's other film Sex,Drugs & Democracy  90 minutes Rated R 2000

Anchoress A beautiful young woman is divided between the church and the feudal lord of her medieval patch. The virgin Mary keeps appearing to her and she is persuaded by the Bishop to wall herself up in the church and devote herself to her visions. This stark Flemish/English movie give a scary visual rendering to life in feudal Europe. Directed by Chris Newby it stars Natalie Morse and Eugene Bervoets. Black & White Letterbox Unrated 108 Minutes

Angel Heart Mickie Rourke is a private detective hire by the devil (Robert Deniro) to track down someone. The detective trappings are straight Sam Spade, but Mr. Rourke redefines "a rough night" way beyond anything Sam could conjure up. Lisa Bonet plays a hot young voodoo priestess, that must have given Bill Cosby fits. Only accept the NC-17 version, the sex is essential to the eeriness of the plot. The book Fallen Angel by William Hjortsberg is also worth reading. Brownie McGhee the famous blues artist has a bit part as Toots Sweet. This is scary stuff and was nicely stylized under Alan Parker's writing and direction. 1987 113 minutes Rated R and NC17.

The Animal Room Clockwork Orange meets the Jersey shore. Recalcitrant teens are relegated to the 'animal room' in their school's basement. Doug Van Deusen is a gothic bully that enjoys beating up a fellow animal room inhabitant druggy Arnie. There are some nostalgic 60's drug hallucination sequences but little  else of interest. Filled with teenage angst. Kubrick did it better. Directed by Craig Singer. 1999 Rated R

Another Day In Paradise Rosie and Bobby are pretty happy, robbing vending machines and shooting crank. Then they link up with the professional junky/criminal couple of Melvin and Sid ( James woods and Melanie Griffiths) who take them in as apprentices. It's a tough education and you get to se every painful minute as they learn how to rob, shoot and shoot up. You know this story cannot end happily. Directed by Larry Clark , Natalie Gregson Wagner is Rosie and Vincent Karthersen is Bobby. 101 minutes Rated R 5/99

Apocalypse Now Redux If you were impressed by the original release of this classic, set a few hours aside and rewatch it, intact. Awesome.

Apostle This is the ultimate Robert Duval film. He wrote it, directed it, produced it and of course he stars in it. The Apostle is a sincere dedicated man of God who gets slightly derailed when his wife (Farrah Fawcett) leaves him for youth minister of their temple. He skips town and lets God direct him to Bayou Boutte, LA via Trailways bus. Starting over, he touches many lives with his personal brand of religion. The cast includes June Carter Cash, Billy Bob Thornton, Todd Allen and lots of extraordinary talent. All aspiring actors/actresses should watch this to see how it's done. 1998 Rated PG 13

Arizona Dream Okay, here's a quiz. What do Faye Dunaway, Jerry Lewis, Johnny Depp, and Lili Taylor have in common? The answer is "Not much", except they are all in this movie. Axel (Depp) is a fish expert working in NYC when he gets abducted back to Arizona by his cousin, Vincent Gallo. How they drive to Arizona in one evening is never explained, but they are going to Uncle Jerry Lewis' wedding to a 20 year old Polish beauty.  Axel meets Dunaway at his uncle's car dealership and they have a quixotic courtship while Lili Taylor accompanies them on the accordion. This is a very French film, filmed with an American cast under the Yugoslav director Emir Kusterica. various cuts from 120 to 145 minutes long. Michael J. Pollard gives his best performance since Bonnie & Clyde. Rated R, English 1993 Thanks to Charles for bring this film to our attention

Art House Director Leigh Slawner scraped up 200,000 bucks to make a film about a guy trying to make a film. The hero, Ray McMichael, works in a coffee shop and struggles to make his "film". His acquaintance,  and unsuccessful filmmaker, Wes Craig, teams upwith him and then rips off for his Magnum Opus script. Undeterred, Ray perseveres and encounters a few distinctive characters along his personal path to fame, including the roommate from hell. This is Leigh Slawner's first film and is released on the First Rites label. Rated R 88 minutes 2000 

Awara Paagal Deewana Loosely translated as "Honey Crazy Love" this is a rather non traditional Masala film with a Kung Fu plot, complete with monster trucks, flamenco dancers, murder, subterfuge, diamonds, wife swapping, blonde belly dancers and lots of gunfire. When Babu, the criminal underworld boss dies he leaves 10 billion rupees worth of diamonds to split between his son, daughter and her husband. Whoever gets to New York, alive can claim title to them. Vikrant is the evil son who plots to kill his brother-in-law Guru Gulab Khatri. They fight on both sides of the Atlantic and comic relief is provided by two hen-pecked dentists from New Jersey. Hindi w/subtitles 150 minutes+ unrated

Azumi "Merely killing one hundred bandits will not save this nation" advises the master. Ten orphans, trained in secret have grown into ruthless assassins and set out with their master to change the course of Japanese history. First they are whittled down to a team of five. Their first mission is to put a cap in some warlords ass. Of course, as Samurai, they actually use swords, but you get the idea. Following the assassin's motto "There are many evil people in the world. Someone has to kill them" they then attack a second, more cunning, warlord. They only succeed in killing his double which allows him to plot his revenge. He releases Bijomaru the murderous drag queen, from prison, and s/he deftly dispatches one of the team. Another assassin falls victim to the nasty Ninja trick of poisoning their swords. Azumi, the only female member of the group  then gets turfed out by their master for being too soft. The remaining two killer orphans and their master storm the palace in a futile attempt to get their target, but immortality eludes them too, leaving only Azumi to finish the task. We won't spoil the ending, but this is a great tale of war & peace. At times,the stylized violence resembles a Nintendo game but overall the film should manage to hold your interest. Think of it as a Japanese version of " Showdown at the OK Corral". Very very bloody and kinda cool. Expect a sequel, soon.

B

Babette's Feast The actors are two dimensional next to the fulsome dinner served up by Babette. You leave this film with the strange sense it was an erotic love story, yet that's not the case. Eat before hand.

Bad Hazel runs a dirty deeds business from her house in Queens. Her lodgers will kill your spouse, snuff your neighbors pet or dismember an illegal alien on short notice. When she's not booking jobs, Hazel runs an electrolysis parlor in her kitchen, because nobody likes too much hair. Probably a real shocker 20 years ago, this Andy Warhol production is still good for a few laughs. 1977 Rated R 101 minutes 12/98

Baise Moi  Two young and bored French women  Manu (Karen Bach) and Nadine ( Raffaela Anderson) simultaneously kill their roomate/lover over somewhat trivial arguments. Very soon, thereafter, the two women meet by chance at a train station, There are no trains so they take the dead boyfriends car and head for the city. They stop at the seashore and soon become fast friends. The pair decide to try a little armed robbery and kill their first victim, a woman at an ATM. They pick up two guys in a bar then go out for a little hit and run action. They rob a gun store for more fire power  and shoot the owner for kicks. Don't be lulled into thinking this is a French Thelma and Louise. The sex is gritty, the violence is, well, violent and the guys are all assholes. Their brutality starts gaining velocity when they stomp their next victim to death in a hotel room. I was still hoping for a happy ending but the ladies start drinking heavily and set out to pick up a few more guys/victims. They form a pattern of sex sandwiched between violent acts and thier next victims are two cops whom they waste at a traffic stop and they add a third woman to their party (Coralie Trinh Thi). She takes them home and she and her boyfriend take in the homicidal pair. Not to spoil the rest, let's just say it escalates. Directed & written by Virginie Despentes French w/subtitles 2002

Bajrangbali If you think Americans invented Superman, you've never seen a Hanuman film. This monkey god star of the epic Indian poem Ramayana , has all the super hero moves without having to moonlight at the Daily Planet. Bajranbali is in color and the extra-special effects will compensate for the hard to assimilate myth. Do not watch this movie under the influence of mind altering drugs, it could prove fatal. Starring the incomparable Dara Singh 175 minute Unrated Hindi w/subtitles on DVD/VHS

Barfly A Mickey Rourke Faye Dunaway film about the power alcohol can hold over people. John Majetic tells us this is a great record of depravity that rivals Drugstore Cowboy. Based on the true life story of writer Charles Bukowski who was always the life of the party. 1987 Rated R 97 minutes

Barking Dogs Never Bite Yoon Ju hates dogs, or at least he hates barking dogs. To help preserve his calm, he kidnaps dogs in his building and dispatches them in various ways. A cute little chow eaten by the superintendent while another he flings off the roof. A woman in the management office, is wise to him and sets out to thwart his dognapping. There is a disclaimer at the end which says "No puppies were hurt in making this film" but you may question that statement after you've seen this film. Oh, yeah, it's a comedy. This was a runaway hit in Korea, honest. Directed by Bong Joon-Ho. Korean w/subtitles 2002 rated IIA 110 minutes

Bandits This all women's German rock band is made up of ex convicts using music as their route to rehabilitation. They get into trouble and then they try and get out of it. Nicht ausgezeichnet .Rated R 110 Minutes German w/subtitles 1997

Bangkok Haunted There are three horror vignettes retold as stories in a bar. In story #1 Paya , the village beauty, is best friends with Gnod, the local hunchback geek. When they are grown, Gnod kidnaps her on the night of her wedding and makes a drum with her spirit trapped inside and perhaps a few of her body parts. 100 years later an antique dealer is haunted by Paya when he comes into possession of the drum. The second story is about a woman he get hold of Pye extract which is a powerful love potion. It gives her complete power over the men who drink it, but always with fatal results. Story #3 is a detective story about a girl who was found hanging in a warehouse. Convinced she was murdered a young detective finds out too late that she cleverly committed suicide by standing on blocks of ice with a noose around her neck. Rated IIB 2001 Thai w/subtitles

Baron von Munchausen This Terry Gilliam classic recounts the tales of histories most extravagant adventurer. The Baron and his friends perform the most extraordinary feats with aplomb. Recommended for fans of Time Bandits. rated PG 1989 126 minutes

Basketball Diaries Jim Carrol's autobiography of growing up as a Catholic School Basketball star. Even if you disliked Romeo & Juliet and Titanic; Leonard DiCaprio makes a pretty convincing whining junkie. Jim Carrol did most of the soundtrack and he even does a cameo role that's way too reminiscent of Drugstore Cowboy .

Basket Case I&II What's in the basket? His brother, who was connected to him but is now just a head on a stump. He will not be ignored. The sequel is even worse than the original.

Le Battement D'ailes Du Pappilon / Happenstance / (The beating of the butterfly's wings) A film about coincidence and how a small action can ripple through many peoples lives. The whole thing is explained in detail by an old man in the park but basically Irene (Audrey Tautou of Amelie fame) learns of her horoscope while riding the Metro to work. She is a poor appliance salesperson whose life brushes an Algerian restaurant owner, a philandering husband, two long lost lovers, a pickpocket, a homeless man and a pathological liar. Written and direct by Laurent Firode it is amusing if not comic and has that smirking charm that Tautou brought to Amelie. 97 minutes French 2000 Rated R

Battle Royale Think Japanese "Lord of The Flies" with lethal weapons. This is the final film of director Kinju Fukasaku and it met with a frosty reception in Japan where it was deemed too critical of the current political/social situation in the country. Perhaps it's also a bit too violent as it garnered a III rating (18 and over) which is usually reserved for porn films. Anyway, compulsory education is eradicated in Japan and a few adults feel the kids are out of control. As part of a social experiment, a whole high school class is flown to a deserted island and given three days to kill one another. There can only be one survivor or everyone dies. Get it, kind of a deadly reality show. The kids soon turn feral and after day one the 42 students are whittled down to 30. Each kid has a different weapon, from a pot lid to an M16 and you get to accrue weapons as you murder your classmates. Sound like fun, maybe Fox will pick up the rights for next season. Rated III, Japanese w/subtitles, 2001 90 min approx.

Baxter The star of this movie is a dog a French speaking bull terrier who always gets what he wants. His first owner is an old woman whom he kills to get  more interesting and active owners. His new owners are great fun until they have a child. Baxter is put up for adoption after he tries to kill their son. His third owner is a disturbing Nazi obsessed little boy who puts Baxter through his paces. Slightly disturbing. Thanks to Dustin Miller for the recommendation.  French/Dog w/subtitles 1991 Unrated

Being There Peter Sellers is magnificent as the hapless Chauncey Gardener. Chauncey has spent his entire life within the confines of a Victorian Philadelphia house and garden. When he is released into the world, his only reference point is what he has seen on television. Before long he is the president of the United States. Extremely funny and damning. From the Jerzey Kosinski novel. 1908 124 minutes rated PG

Being John Malkovich Craig Schwartz ( John Cussack )is an under appreciated puppeteer who finally decides it is time to get a  paying job. He interviews with the Lester Corp as a filing clerk on the 7 1/2 th floor of the Merton Flimmer building. It is an unusual place, with low ceilings and eccentric occupants.  At home, things are even stranger.  Craig's wife , Lotti, is a frowzy pet shop owner, a rather unflattering part for the usually gorgeous Cameron Diaz. They live in a house full of chimps, parrots lizards and other species. As Craig settles in to his filing tasks, he develops a thing foe Maxine ( Catherine Keener) his attractive office mate.   Smitten, Craig creates a Maxine puppet to express his true feeling to her wooden counterpart. His unrequited love lead them into a business partnership that is unorthodox to say the least. They discover a half door that leads into John Malkovich's head. You can actually be John Malkovich  and when it's over you get spit out alongside the New Jersey Turnpike. 2000 Rated R 

Before the Rain Almost everyone will need the sub-titles to get a handle on the dialog in this Macedonian/Albanian film directed by Milcho Manchevski. There are three interwoven tales that bring out the disparity and animosity between the Albanian/moslem community that shares Macedonia with the Macedonian/Christian community. A Pulitzer Prize winning photographer returns to his old home town and find a violent division in his once peaceful village. In another story, a young novitiate harbors a runaway Albanian girl in his monastery cell. The third tale is about a London woman whose life is irreversibly intertwined with the Balkan problems. It is an interesting film that exposes a regional problem in a very personal way. 1994 Rated R 112 minutes Subtitled in English

Benny and Joon Mary Stuart Masterson is Joon, a slightly off kilter artist who lives with her brother Benny (Aidan Quinn). When she's left alone, Joon tries to direct traffic with a ping pong paddle while dressed in scuba gear. Benny is trying real hard not to institutionalize his sister, but housekeepers seldom make it through the first day. Until, that is, they acquire Sam ( Johnny Depp) in a poker game. Depp's Buster Keatonisms and Chaplin routines are worth the price of the rental fee. 1993 Rate PG 98 minutes. Thanks to Richard Greaf II and his sister who recommended this film

Best In Show This time Christopher Guest turns his sarcastic sites on the dog show world. Basically the same cast as "Guffman" a yuppie couple, a redneck, a NY Gay couple and a childless midwest husband and wife all descend with their pooches on a mock Westminster dog show. We follow each of them as they prepare and travel to the show and as they compete. As usual guest is both accurate and unforgiving in his hilarious portrayal of this American subculture. On tape soon. 2000 Rated PG13

Big Deal On Madonna Street Marrcello Mastroianni leads a gang of truly bumbling Italian thieves in this comedy directed by Mario Monicello. 1960 B&W 90 minutes unrated Italian w/subtitles

The Big Empty First time Director Jack Perez puts a new twist on the hard boiled detective story. Lloyd Meadows is not quite sure why he is a detective, but he waits patiently for his next divorce job. A rather vulnerable Jane Danforth hires him to trail her social worker husband, Peter. Peter appears to be an angel, so Lloyd starts messing with his mind. Before long the lonely detective has pried Jane away and made Peter the lonely party. This is another First Rites directorial debut film. 96 minute Unrated 2000

The Big Lebowski Someday they'll make a movie and Steve Buscemi will not be in it. He's never the star, but here he plays Donny, an idiot bowling buddy of "The Dude" (Jeff Bridges) and Walter (John Goodman) . Joel and Ethan Coen threw this together with all the money left over from Fargo; and if it catches you in the right mood, it is a funny film. The Dude is a has been 60's activist that gets sucked into a kidnapping plot. He gets paid to recover Julianne Moore, who may have been snatched by a band of German rock and roll nihilists ( one is played by "Flea"). It gets a little goofy but the cameos make it worth watching. John Turturro plays Jesus the flamenco bowling pederast and Sam Elliot steals the show with his allotted 5 minutes. Ben Gazarra is a sleazoid Bob Guccione type . T Bone Burnett selected the music for the kick ass soundtrack. Lots of cool characters with a little bit of a story.1998 117 Minutes Rated R

Big Night Two immigrant brothers try their hand as restaurateurs in Atlantic City in the 1950's. The elder brother, Primo is a temperamental chef while the younger of the pair Segundo is a masterful Maitre'd. Business is poor and they stake their hopes on serving a memorable meal to a well known Italian performer. 1996 110 minutes Rated R

The Big Split The story of a relationship gone wrong, then right by new director Martin Hynes. Very realistic, if you've been there you'll be able to relate. A First Rites Film. 87 Minute unrated 

The Big Tease Colin Ferguson is a talented Scottish hairdresser that receives an invite to a major coiffure competition held in LA. He has a tough time absorbing the LA lifestyle and makes them play by his rules. It is a scissor sharp dissection of the west coast and the  narcissistic  fashion community. Did I mention he was gay? Lots of fun if you are in the mood. Rated PG 13  1999 about 90 minutes.

The Bird People of China It is awfully hard to classify the work of Japanese director Takashi Miike. In this one, a young business man is commandeered to travel up to northern Hunan in search of a rumored jade mine. Enroute, he realizes there is a yakuza on his tail and perhaps there's more to this mine than his boss let on. As the trip becomes more arduous the two team up just to survive, until they eventually reach their destination. Along the way, they hear rumors of people who can fly and when they arrive, there is a great deal of evidence to support the stories. After slowing to the rural pace the two men become less concerned with the jade and more interested in the rich village life. When the time comes to return to civilization, they must face the dilemma of bringing modernization to the last unspoiled place in China. Japanese Rated 1

Bitter Moon Roman Polanski really knows how to make a degenerate movie. If you think Hugh Grant is a twit, wait till you see him in this one. Grant is seduced away from his wife by a French siren (Emmanuelle Seigner) and her paraplegic husband. You might find this in the "Adult" section of your video store. 1992 140 min Rated R

A Bittersweet Life How far will you go for love? This is a true test of a young mobsters resolve, as he is asked to look after him masters girlfriend for a few days. When he catches her with another man, he does the wrong thing and is asked to pay with his life. There still another hour and a half left in the film, so needless to say, he doesn't die so quickly. This is a really funny, entertaining, violent and romantic Korean mobster film. The cinematography is superb and eventually some American studio will buy the rights to this story and screw it up. Directed by Kim Joo Woon  2005 Korean 2 hours

Black & White We have a copy but haven't gotten around to reviewing it

Black Male Bill is a twisted English twit but an accomplished serial murderer until he falls in love with Heather. He only wants to keep her happy. He finds her a real nice house by killing the occupants, and drugs her when he has things to do. Heathers boyfriend is hot on their trail and just about everyone dies by the end. Mildly amusing. Filmed in Danbury, Connecticut if you care.  90 Minutes 1999 

Blade Runner Harrison Ford before he became Jack Ryan is quite good in this aging sci-fi movie. I only mention it because it's been spiffed up and re released on DVD. Taken from the brilliant book Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep by the late and great Philip K. Dick.

Blood and Roses Mel Ferrer as a Vampire ? This is one of many film versions of the novel Carmilla. 1961 Italian 90 minutes unrated.

Blood Simple Joel and Ethan Cohens'  first full length film is due to be re-released this summer. This is a great thriller which has strains of Fargo in it's twisty plot. A younger Francis McDormand runs off from her nasty barkeeper husband played by Danny Hadaya. A plot for revenge backfires more than once and will leave you guessing the outcome. Worth a re-viewing if you saw it 17 years ago when it first came out. 96 minutes Rated R 1983

Bloody Beach 8 internet buddies rent a beach house together and head out of Seoul for a summer of fun. One is dead before she even gets off the train. By the second night, they are almost all chopped up, stabbed, run over or fallen victim to some fatal mishap. It can all attributed to "Sandmanzz" who was a malignant chat room buddy of the group. We suspect this is a Korean remake of a bad American film. Watch this only if you need another good reason to quit AOL.

Blue Velvet Dennis Hopper at his strangest in this David Lynch creepfest with Kyle McLaughlin, Laura Dern and the stunning Isabella Rosalini. 1986 Rated R 1986 

Bottle Rocket Digman is a wholesale loser who attempts to assemble a second class criminal team. They manage to rob a Barnes and Noble of their petty cash, but bungle anything more complex. Directed by Wes Andersson, with the entire Wilson family (Owen, Luke, Andrew and Teddy) in the cast. 1996 Rated R 99 minutes Thanks to Tuco200 for the recommendation. 10/98

A Boy's Life A biographical film from Tobias Wolff's book of the same title. Jack is dragged across the country by his loopy mom who is always trying to reshape her life. She latches on to Dwight (Robert DeNiro) as the perfect husband and father for her growing boy. Jack's mom has always been a poor judge of character and this proves to be one of her larger mistakes. Dwight is the step dad from hell. Aside from being a domineering asshole, Dwight is never wrong, never kind and he steals the money from Jack's paper route. It's all the more tragic, because you know it actually happened. Leonardo DiCaprio can almost be forgiven for "Titanic" after this excellent job as the young Mr. Wolff. Thanks to Jason Koenigsknecht for the recommendation

Brassed Off They closed the coal pits, everyone is broke and only the Grimley Colliery Band is left to give them pride. This is a blatant feel good movie but it does have Ewan McGregor and it is a true story. It is also a poke in the eye to the Tory government, which was well deserved. 1990 Rated R British  90 minutes

Brazil  Michael Palin, Jonathan Pryce, Katherine Hellmond and Robert DeNiro are the major names in this futuristic Terry Gilliam epic. Poor Mr.Buttle has been expunged by the master computer. They take him away and he ceases to exist. Pryce is Sam who is promoted to the Ministry of Information through his mother's social machinations. He encounters Jill who is trying to find out what became of Buttle. She is literally the woman of his dreams and he falls for her and her cause. It seems Sam's friend and coworker,  Michael Palin as Jack, had accidentally killed Buttle while interrogating him.  Bob Hoskins and Robert DeNiro have great parts as plumbers. You might want to buy this one, because you will have to rent it five or six times to get a handle on the story. The full 142 minute version is now available in a boxed DVD set versus the standard 131 minute US 1985 release. The extra footage actually adds a lot to the story. Rated R  

Breaking News A rather cynical look at how the media has perverted police work. A group of detectives are filmed in a gun battle with some tough triad members. They get the short end of the stick and look bad on that nights news. To regain public trust, Inspector Rebecca orchestrates a media circus around the capture of the gang. The criminals are a wee bit smarter than their captors and although good triumphs over evil in the end it was a close race. Cantonese w/subtitles rated IIb 2004

Bringing Out The Dead Nicolas Cage is an unraveling New York City ambulance driver in this Martin Scorcese offering. Patricia Arquette is Mary Burke, the ex-junkie love interest whose father suffered a heart attack. The sound track is kick ass but the story is a bit over the top, as New York never gets as wild as Martin would have us believe. Cage has recurring visions of a street kid that died on him, which lends itself to some overblown hallucination sequences. Some of the ambulance scenes are reminiscent of an episode of the Monkees. John Goodman is his usual self as Cage's ambulance partner. Cage fans will stick with this one to the end but the rest of you shouldn't  even load the tape in your VCR. Rated R  121 Minutes 1999

Broken English The burgeoning New Zealand film industry has given us a new twist on cross cultural love stories. A transplanted Croatian beauty, Nina (Aleksandra Vujcic) forms a romantic alliance with a Maori , Eddy, (Julian Arahanga) against the strong wishes of her old world father ( Rade Serbedzua). It smacks a little of a quirky Montague/Capulet plot I once read, but hey, how many Kiwi films have you seen? Skip the Blockbuster "R" version and go for the NC-17 cut if you can find it. What good is a love story without the steam.? 1997 Tristar 92 minutes

Broken Flowers This may be the best film Bill Murray is in since Stripes. For director Jim Jarmusch, this is a low key story, with a minimum of dialog, a little travel (almost exclusively in New Jersey) and 5 ex-girlfriends. Don Johnston (with a 't') has a dull bored suburban existence till he get's an anonymous letter informing him that he has a 19 year old son. His inquisitive Ethiopian neighbor, Winston/ Jeffrey Wright feels it is time for a quest, so he supplies Don with an itinerary and sends him on a quest. Don visits his old girlfriends, beginning with Sharon Stone and her aptly named daughter, Lolita. Next stop is Frances Conroy a childless real estate agent, Jessica Lange and Julie Delpy. Cool story enmeshed in a minimalist film without a suitable ending. Great stuff. 2005 rated R 2005 106 minutes

Brother The Yakuza follow a Japanese hybrid of Mafiosi and Samurai traditions and have spawned their own sub-class of Japanese gangster cinema. Director Takeshi Kitano, breaks out of the yakuza film stereotype in this tale of a Tokyo mobster who is forces to flee to Los Angeles. After a few days in a seedy hotel, Yamamoto makes contact with his low rent brother and by the end of the week, they have wrestled control the local drug distribution from some badass Mexicans. By the end of the next week, they have eradicated the competition and control a chunk of the city. This boy is ruthless, even by American thug standards. With a little difficulty, they merge with the reigning Japantown crime lord to become a force to reckon with. Drawing attention from the Italians, they are asked for a 50% kick back to The Mob. That's a bit too much for Yamamoto and before long they "go to the mattresses" in an all out war. It is both a brutal and and stylish confrontation, but you sense that for Yamamoto, it is a form of ritual suicide. This is a very good film and recommended, especially if  you like gangster stuff. Japanese & Englishw/subtitles Rated III 90 min

Brother From Another Planet Early Jon Sayles story of a black alien who gets pulled into some very funny situations after landing in New York. This would have made a good 1/2 hour Twilight Zone but tends to wear thin after an hour. 104 minutes 1984 

Buddha Mar Gaya Also titled  in English as You will die laughing, this might well be the Hindi version of Weekend at Bernie's. A highly irreverent look at Indian funeral practices and low comedy. It was difficult toreally know what we watched since our copy was bought on the street in Bombay and had no discernable sub titles. It may actually be a decent film, but we don't have a clue. Directed by Rahul Rawail

Buena Vista Social Club Director Wim Wenders teamed up with guitarist Ry Cooder to document the legendary and underappreciated musicians of Cuban popular music. It is a revival of past stars who have been neglected during the long years of Cubas isolation. The great music is made even better when you sense the joy wenders captures from these lifelong performers. 1999 Spanish w/subtitles 100 minutes

Buffalo 66 Vincent Gallo is the director/writer/star in a film about one of the stupidest people ever born. Billy Brown gets out of jail and can't even find a place to take a leak. He kidnaps Cristina Ricci and takes her home to prove to his parents he is not a loser. But he is and they don't care anyway, because they're too busy watching Buffalo play football. We're informed via flashback, that Billy went to jail because he made a large and ill advised bet on the same team. Two things are definite, upstate New York is depressing in the winter and Ricci is a good actress.  This movie may actually be brilliant.? 1998 Rated R Thanks to Wilbur177 for the suggestion 4/99

burnzy's last call A one day snapshot in a downtown New York bar. The director Michael de Avila knows his subject and he gets a host of cameos in his cinematic bar room. As a veteran barkeep, de Avila has a good handle on his subject and he has condensed his 15 years of anecdotes into one night. Burnzy is an elder patron who starts his drinking daily at 10 am and has occupied the same stool since 1956. He stays in place as yuppies, weirdoes, David Johansen, drag queens, Sherry Stringfield,  cops and bookies come and go. Through it all, Burnzy drinks his short beers. Johansen plays Andre the vile artist bum who is just too gross to believe. Sal the bartender is a teetotaler whom Andre likens to a diabetic in a candy store. Sal (James Mc Caffrey) makes him the drink to end all drinks. Watch this one when you're feeling thirsty. Burnzy sticks it out to closing time and you should to. You'll find it in the First Rites section. Enjoy the superb close up shots of fizzy drinks and cigarette smoke and the great sound track. 88 minutes 2000 Unrated A first rites film

The Butcher Boy Francie Brady has an easy life at home with his drunken dad and suicidal mom. If only Mrs. Nugent had not called him a pig. Pigs are a recurring theme in this totally Irish film adapted from Patrick McCabe's novel of the same name. In his childish way, Francie holds the wealthier Mrs. Nugent (Fiona Shawn) responsible for the bad things in his life, and he sets out from the start to make her and her son pay. In addition to pigs, the director Neil Jordan, has artfully worked JFK, atomic bombs and the Virgin Mary into almost every scene. In fact the incarnation of Mary is played by the ultimate Irish person, Sinead O'Conner. With that one exception, the acting is superb, and Eammon Owens is perfect as the young Francie. Stephen Rey plays Da Brady and Aisling O'Sullivan is Ma. 1997 Geffen Pictures 85 Minutes Rated R Thanks Danny for the suggestion. 11/98

C

Cabin Boy I don't know why, but this movie is really funny. Maybe Chris Elliott is always funny, no matter how bad the script. You don't need to watch this one through to the end because it's obvious Tim Burton ran out of ideas half way. The first half is just too stupid to miss.

The Castle The Kerrigan family is a strange bunch and although they are far from dysfunctional none of them are playing with a full deck. Perhaps it's the hazardous waste buried in their yard or the radar from the adjacent  airport that makes them so dim. Things at chez Kerrigan were going along fine until the local council forecloses on the Kerrigan estate to make way for a new runway.  Well Dad Kerrigan reckons a man's home is his inviolable castle and has no idea where they get off. A battle ensues. Ignore the happy ending and watch it for Aussie and anti-lawyer  humor/humour.  Directed by Rob Sitch, this might be construed as an Australian version of "The Stupids" .  84 Minutes Rated R 1998 

Cellophane Marianne is asked to destroy some letters, but she is too much of a journalist to do it without reading them. Her curiosity reopens a 25 year old murder case in which her father was implicated. She returns to her small Swedish town of Skokland in an attempt to clear her dying father and perhaps solve the case.  Swedish w/subtitles 1997 OAT1 

Central Station What a pleasure to see a film where the sets are all real, the actors are not all stunning and the language is Portuguese. A boy, Josuae is left to a life in the streets after his mother is struck by a bus in front of the Rio de Janeiro terminal. After a few days he is begrudgingly befriended by a tough old woman, Dora, who works at the terminal as a letter writer. She takes the kid home then sells him to a syndicate for organ transplants. Her neighbor intercedes and guilts Dora into retrieving the kid before he is harvested. She ends up stealing the kid and the go on the lam. Even in translation, you get good idea of the distrusting love that grows between them. 1998 Unrated 120 minutes Brazilian Portuguese w/subtitles. 8/99

Character Or more precisely Karakter in it's original Dutch, this is a strange ass story of an illegitimate son raised by his mother. That would have been fine, but their paths constantly pass with the boys wealthy and nasty father. Be forewarned, the high quality of the shadowy photography and the weird sound of the gargling Dutch may work their way into your dreams. The boy, Kazadreufe is haunted, sued and harassed by the evil Drevenhaven who is trying to harden his son to the world. Undoubtedly better on the big screen, you may be lucky enough to find a single copy in your video store. 1997 125 minutes Rater R Dutch with English subtitles

Chappaqua In hindsight an awful lot of counter culture movies from the sixties were sloppy self indulgent junk. Maybe the audiences were too stoned to notice, but most of them now seem merely confusing. Chappaqua is no exception. Pedigreed as a genuine hip film it has an all star  cast with William Burroughs, Allen Ginsberg, Jean Louis Barroult, Swami Satchidanandi, Ravi Shankar, the Fugs and Paulette Pritchard. Essentially, it is a cinematic translation of the drug rehab diaries of a spoiled rich kid, Russel Hawrith from Chappaqua, NY. Director Conrad Rook takes us on a trip through Times Square, Paris, and Central Park with lots of odd camera angles and double exposures. Essentially, we are watching Harwith's hallucinations as he goes through drug withdrawal at a posh Swiss clinic. Maybe I'm just jealous, it appears they had a great time filming this and Rook concocted the story  by splicing all his pointless footage together. I highly recommend it and many thanks to all of you who brought this gem to our attention. 1966 B&W  82 minutes Unrated

Chasing Amy Clerks was brilliant, then these guys got some money to make a full blown color film. They didn't waste the money or the opportunity. Ben Affleck is a New Jersey comic book creator that is smitten by fellow comic artist Joey Luaren Adams. He continues to pursue her even after she professes her preference for women. Love makes a serious attempt at conquering all, even sexual preference. Most of the Clerks cast can be found here, too. 1997 Rated R 112 minutes 10/98

Chicks Man Possibly a film about men's inability to fathom the mysteries of women. Directed by Jeremy Wagener. Supposedly this won the Savannah Film festival, I guess we missed that one. 93 minutes unrated 2000

Le Chien Andalou Salvador Dali had a hand in this off-the-charts strange film that is the cinematic portrayal of something only he understood.

Children of the Revolution Judy Davis is great as Joan Fraser the ultimate leftist whose affair with Joe Stalin is the death of the old autocrat. When she returns to Australia and marries one of her old communist chums (played by Geoffrey Rush), she is already pregnant with Stalin's child. Little Joe grows up unsure who his real dad is until the resemblance becomes obvious to all. Sam Neil is pretty good as the double agent and F. Murray Abraham does a plausible and funny Stalin. Directed by Peter Duncan. 1996 Rated R 101 minutes

Circus Leo has lots of problems and he could use some cash to solve them. His bookie (Eddie Izzard) wants to get paid, his brother is screwing his wife and a hit man is convinced Leo killed his girlfriend. Leo is on the run from a variety of British thugs while trying to run the biggest scam of his career. Pretty high paced but not quite a Guy Ritchie film. British 2000 Rated R 95 minutes

City of God (Cidade De Deus)  Rocket is a wannabe photojournalist who lives in a particularly rough favala in Rio. He moderates this amusing and violent story of a gang war in his neighborhood. It is well written, well filmed and especially horrific because it is based on a true story. These thugs can never win and most kids from this neighborhood are destined to die before they reach old age from a combination of ignorance, drugs and violence. Very very very good especially if you like gang stories.  Directed by Fernando Meirelles 2 hours Rated R Brazilian Portuguese w/subtitles

City of Lost Children  Directed by the team of Jeanette/Caro you can't help but think of Brazil as you watch this thing. Very funny mad scientist story about a family of clones that kidnap children so they can record their dreams for one of their members. Wild sets and courageous children who fight off the freaks with the aid of a circus giant. Also check out Delicatessen by the same guys. 1995 120 min rated R subtitled/French

The Classic  Most Korean films are either astoundingly brutal or ridiculous schoolgirl ghost stories. So when we found this endless Korean romance, it seemed worth a mention. It tells the tale of a threesome Joon-ha, Tae-soo and their girlfriend Joo-hee who had a lengthy and tortuous romance that spanned two generations. The story is told through a series of flashbacks as their daughter reads old love letters and diaries from her parents courtship. Well told, well filmed, a bit long at 118 minutes but good fodder for hopeless romantics. Korean 2003 Zhao Cheng You.

Clean, Shaven I'm still looking for this one recommended to us by Ola Lundin Anyone know where to find a copy?

Clerks You take a pack of Jersey shore losers that work in a convenience store and the video store next to it and you show us just how funny they can be, despite their boring miserable lifestyle and pointless existence. It works really well. 1994 90 min B&W 

A Clockwork Orange An honorable mention to this Kubrick adaptation of the Anthony Burgess novel about future punks. Malcolm (not Roddy) McDowell is at his best and scariest in this one. Watch it again and see if it still makes you unsettled . 137Minutes Rated R 1971.

Cold Dog Soup If you liked "Rubin & Ed", here's another dead pet movie to round out your weekend. Michael gets picked up at a health club and invited home to dinner. He's in for a 'pressure cooker" of an evening until Jasper, the family mutt chokes to death on an anchovy. Being a nice guy,our hero volunteers to bury th pooch in the park. He bags the dog, leaves Sarah and her mom, and hails a cab for the park. This is not just any cab, this one is driven by Randy Quaid. Quaid talks Michael into selling the dead dog rather than burying him. The rest of the film is spent careening through the city (what city?) trying to get a few bucks for Jasper. In a stupid sort of way, this is all very funny. From Handmade films (What happened to them?) Frank Whaley is Mike, Christine Harnos is Sarah and Mushroom the dog is Jasper. 1989 PG 13 90 minutes

Colour Blossoms In the mood for a trans-sexual murder, S&M, tri-lingual triangular ghost love story? Madam Umeki Satoko is a fading Japanese film star who takes a liking to a beautiful young real estate agent, Miss Meili. The actress buys a ten million dollar home at the top of Hong Kong on the condition Meili can locate a tenant for her other apartments in Princess Terrace. Captivated by the elegance of her client, she soon discovers that finding the "right tenant" will not be a simple task. This could almost be a travelogue as the main character sashays up and down Hong Kong's streets always meeting the glance of a silent handsome policeman or the embrace of her Tokyo photographer/male model paramour, Kim. Toss in some S&M, a hint of homosexuality, a trace of trans-gender mysticism, an old murder and some rain and you have an undecipherable mess. Written and directed by Yonfan with production help from Fruit Chan. This must be some kind of fantasy romance film that is just neither bizarre nor erotic enough for our jaded tastes. Japanese, Cantonese and bad English poetry with a Hindi soundtrack. Starring Teresa Cheung, Matsuzaka Keiko and Harisu 2004

The Cook, The Thief, The Lover, The.... Not to give anything away, but this is probably the most appetizing corpus delecti ever served up in a film. The sets and cinematography are a might strange and you may find it takes some perseverance to stick it out to the end.

Cosi Director Mark Joffe employs a terrific cast in this comedy about a theatrical production at an asylum. Lewis gets the job as the director and is way in over his head. He enlists his best friend to try and bring a little theater experience as he has none.His cast are all characters in their own rite, including, Barry Otto as Roy an indomitable thespian who wants them to enact Cosi Fan Tutti.  The only problem is no one speaks Italian and no one can sing. It was meant to be a stop gap job for Lewis but the infectious enthusiasm of his cast draws him in. His girlfriend, Lucy (Rachel Griffith from Six Feet Under) is an un-supportive law student. Art replicates life as Lewis' friend bets him that Lucy is fooling around similar to the opera's plot. The production is great. Look for Toni Collette form Muriel's Wedding as Julie the voluntary patient. Rated R 100 minutes Australian 1998

Crash Not to be confused with the Cronenburg film, this is a contemporary story of life in LA. It is a series of interwoven tales that portray the good, bad and indifferent aspects of American life. Loaded with stars, this is not typical Hollywood fare and it left me feeling a trifle depressed by the time the credits rolled. Look for Sandra Bullock, Don Cheadle, Matt Dillon, Jennifer Esposito, Brendan Fraser, Ludascris, Thandie Newton, Ryan Phillippe and Larenz Tate. Directed by Paul Haggis who does a good job of handling all this talent and keeping the story moving. Lots of surprises. 2004  100 minute

Crash If you are slightly unbalanced behind the wheel, please skip this movie. Somehow they manage to connect eroticism to car crashes in a way that might appeal to a few of us. Maybe it's the subliminal images of beautiful people ( Holly Hunter, James Spader, Roseann Arquette, Elias Koteas, Deborah Unger) fornicating between car crashes that connects those synapses. Anyway, the NC-17 version is the one to see. Absolutely all sexual combinations are explored. Remember that car wash fantasy you always had? All you Canadians will recognize the QEW, that's one really sexy road. Excellent cars. Directed by David Cronenburg because Naked Lunch was not extreme enough. 1996 100/90 Min NC-17/R

Crawlspace For Klaus Kinski fans only. Klaus crawls around in the attic. Why? Who knows. 1986 80 minutes rated R

Crazy in Alabama Antonio Banderas direct his wife, Melanie Griffiths,  in this dual tale of Aunt Lucille and the civil rights movement in the early 60's . It seems Aunt Lucille poisoned her husband and cut off his head with an electric carving knife. She sticks him in a Tupperware© cake tote and keeps him around for consolation. Taken from the Mark Childress novel, Melanie's southern accent is a trifle annoying, but hell so is mine. 1999 Rated PG13 88 min

Creep This is a first film by the young and enthusiastic British director Christopher Smith. It is your basic horror film with a tall blond woman looking over her shoulder as she runs away from a homicidal freak. The setting is the London Underground, the running starlet is Franka Potente (Yeah from Osbourne Conspiracy) and the mutant is a leftover science experiment from some subterranean medical lab. Good location shots and lots of jump out of your seat moments. Save it for when you are in the mood for a good drive-in movie. 2004 English 85 minutes

Criminal Gus is a middle aged accountant who embezzles a few bucks to help buy his family a new home. Off course his is not very good at anything, least of all crime, and he quickly gets caught. He takes his son and runs off to upstate New York. It is beautifully shot in black and white by Wolfgang Held which amplifies the depressing qualities of this poor schmucks life. 77 minutes Unrated 1994

Cronos An old watchmaker finds a curios clockwork device that has some sinister qualities. He starts acting younger and pretty soon he gets a hankering for blood. There's an odd South American slant to this film which is in Spanish intermixed with English. A nice twist from the standard vampire fare. 1992 color 92 minutes rated R

Cross My Heart and Hope to Die Otto is the odd man out. Perhaps throwing a rock at the referee's head really was a bad idea but growing up is filled with wrong decisions. This is a Norwegian version of  a  favorite cinematic theme, the coming of age film.. Since very few of us have a Norwegian perspective on growing up, it is enlightening. Not your usual happy ending boy meets girl storyline, Otto gets more of a slap in the face rather than a pat on the ass to nudge him  into adulthood. Very different and very good. 96 minutes, Norwegian w/subtitles unrated

Cross Fire Junko Aoiki has pyrokinetic powers. When her friend’s sister is killed by a bunch of rich punks, she decides to immolate them, single-handedly. This Japanese teen horror has so much moral baggage you’ll think you’re watching an American 50’s horror film. It’s refreshing to see a powerful, assertive female character in a Japanese production even if she is a homicidal bitch with flame throwing powers. The police are hot on her trail and you know she has to die but it’s done with aplomb. Japanese w/subtitles  116 min 2000 rated IIB 

Cruel Story of Youth Director Nagisa Oshima's Japanese juvenile delinquent movie is an Asian offshoot of the James Dean genre. Mayo has fun hitching rides with business men and shaking them down when they hit on her. She and her boyfriend make it into a nice business until the police intervene. Love does not prevail in this Romeo and Juliet update and they must pay for their social indiscretions. The photography is good but the social pressures and taboos seem a bit obscure. 1960 Color Japanese with English subtitles Unrated

Crumb This movie got lots of praise when it first came out, but we chose to ignore it. It is excellent, and all those nice things and top ten listings were right on the money. Robert Crumb is a reclusive comic book artist who was seminal in the underground comic world of the 1960/70s. Even if the name is unfamiliar, you will recognize his work or at least his distinctive pen and ink style. Terry Zwigoff directed and David Lynch produced this brutally honest documentary of Roberts twisted family and home life. You get a sense that Roberts twisted artwork is really indicative of his world view. This is a  very open and apparently accurate film that supports the connection between psychosis and genius. You may catch yourself rethinking this film for days afterward. 1994 Rated R 119 minutes 

Cube A bunch of strangers wake up inside against Rubics Cube. They must join forces to try and get out without getting annihilated by the fiendish devices hidden in the rooms. Very surreal, science fiction story that does not insult your intelligence. Maybe they'll make a sequel. 90 minutes 1997 rated R

Curdled A young woman's obsession with murder lures her into a job cleaning up crime scenes and soon she crosses paths with a local serial killer, bringing her dangerously close to her subject of fascination. This is an amazing screen play that draws one into Gabriella's world and holds you there until the grizzly end. Grab you latex gloves and join in her "danse macabre", it's a tango you will never forget. Starring William Baldwin, Directed by Reb Braddock. 1996 Rated R 94 minutes Recommended and reviewed by Kim Danbert. Thanks Kim, we liked it too.

D

Dark City Did someone say "Film Noir" ? If your curious about just how dark you can make a film and still have a visible image ( but not necessarily an intelligible story) check this out. The plot is the standard failing alien civilization wants to conquer earth scenario. Unlike Mars Attacks, these Nosferatu look-alikes use memory control as their tool. Keiffer Sutherland overacts his role as the complicit limping Dr. Schreber but the rest of the cast are OK. This is a niche movie which you'll enjoy if you liked Spawn or The Crow or niches. 1997 Rated R 98 minutes 1/99

Dark Water Unbeknownst to most of us, there is a well developed school of Asian horror films that rival or surpass Hollywood's recent crop of psycho thrillers. Dark Water is just one example. These modern day ghost stories are scary as hell, and they do it without assistance from Stephen King. This Japanese offering, directed by Nakata Hideo, has a tense style and close photography that bears little resemblance to it's American counterparts. Yoshimi, a recently divorced mother, is struggling to keep her daughter and herself on track. That rent a rundown apartment is a poorly maintained apartment building, where they try to set up house. A worrisome water stain on the bedroom ceiling is our first indication that this place was a poor choice. Your first reaction might be to attribute the heightening weirdness to Yoshimis' stress and active imagination. Before long, however, her adorable 5 year old daughter  begins having visions and is sent home from school when she passes out. The stain begins to grow and the fact that another little girl has gone missing from Ikiko's kindergarten only makes things worse. The foreboding never lets up, but it accelerates so slowly you can hardly perceive the change. It's not long before the dripping ceiling has you worried too and you're giving Ikuko advice about staying away from the tub. Ringu is perhaps the only film that has crossed over into American cinema (as The Ring) from this wealth of spooky Asian ghost stories, but it is just one of many excellent titles that are worth ferreting out. . We'll keep listing them as we find copies. Japanese w/subtitles 102 minutes Rated IIb  We just heard Hollywood bought the rights and is planning to screw it up

Days of Being Wild This stylish Hong Kong Film is about a rather smooth young man who lives with his wealthy aunt. He delicately balances two distinctively different girlfriends and his aunt as he pisses his life away. Eventually, his legs get kicked out from under him.  Directed by Wong Kar Wei, this won the Hong Kong Best Directors award . The translation is a little rough at times but the tale is sound, torrid and very slickly done. Cantonese w/subtitles Rated II 94 minutes

Dead Alive So many people wrote in about this film, that we could no longer ignore it. Director Peter Jackson put together this New Zealand spoof which would do George Romero proud. Lionel played by Timothy Balme is a hen pecked son of a Wellington socialite. He falls for Piquita, a Spanish grocery clerk played by Diana Penalver. He takes her to the zoo where his mom gets bitten by a hairless rat monkey. Before long Mom is a zombie and so is anyone she bites. Sound familiar ? Well, this one is over the top for blood, guts, gore and more blood. It could make a morgue attendant gag. At one point Lionel takes an upturned power mower to a roomful of zombies complete with splat and squishing noises. A real Zombie jamboree. If you like this Doug Randell recommends Jackson's earlier work entitled "Bad Taste" . 1992 Unrated

Dead Fall An awful con man movie with Nicolas Cage and James Coburn. They should be ashamed of themselves for this stinker. Cameos by Peter Fonda and Charlie Sheen were no help, whatsoever. 99 minutes Rated R 1993

Dead Man Jim Jarmusch gets off to a quiet start with this black and white western. He got Johnny Depp to play William Blake a Cleveland accountant who wanders west after his parents die. Predictably meek and mild, William manages to catch a bullet that was meant for someone else. He is nursed by an Indian named 'Nobody' who just assumes Depp is the poet William Blake. Blake proceeds to wander around killing people, becoming more adept as he goes. The scenery and the photography are extraordinary. The story is wryly comic though a trifle thin. The cutting dialog and great cinematography more than compensate and the combination will entertain most Jarmusch fans. The all star cast includes Robert Mitchum as a berserk mill owner, Crispin Glover as a walk-on lunatic, Billy Bob Thornton as himself, Iggy Pop as a cowboy in drag, plus Gabriel Byrne and Alfred Molina. 1997 Rated R B & W 121 minutes. 8/99

Dead Pet While Jake was away at Harvard, the family poodle has displaced his parents affection . They regretfully inform Jake, he can't finish school as his tuition went for experimental surgery on Miko, their 13 year old poodle (played by Raindrop). He retires to his room only to find it has been converted into a pink poodle recovery room. Soon after, the poodle dies while in his care. He leaves home, but that is just the start of his problems. Kevin Cotteleer, wrote directed and stars in this funny spoof on just how tough it is to be a twenty something. Reminiscent of "Spanking the Monkey", but far more light hearted. Music by SubLunar 93 minutes unrated1999 

Delicatessen A haute cuisine French comedy directed by JP Jeunet and Marc Caro. A landlord serves his tenants to his tenants in this futurist story of gustatory deprivation. No, we won't stoop to calling it tasty, but it's a winner. If you enjoy this one, find a copy of City of Lost Children or Amelie by the same team. Thanks to Kevin Leep for the recommendations 1991 101 minutes Rated R

Detroit 9000 A blaxploitation movie recommended by that guy who made "Pulp Fiction"

Diary of A Serial Killer Gary Bucey plays a hack magazine writer who trails a serial killer in search of a vicarious thrill/story. Boy was this a lousy movie. Bad writing, insulting gaps and enough clichés to fill out a sit com season. Just possibly this is a lame rip off of Man Bites Dog. Skip it , even if it's on HBO and you're bored.

Dick  If you ever wondered what really happened at Watergate, all is revealed in this comedy that ties up all the loose ends. Danny Hedaya does a great Nixon, although you kind of hope the man was  not that nuts. Kirsten Dunst and Michele Williams and the two teenagers that unwittingly bring down his administration. 94 minutes Rated PG 1999

Dill Scallion The jacket to this this film calls it a country western version of Spinal Tap. Granted, it is a music industry pseudo-documentary, but that's were the similarity ends. Dill (Billy Burke) is a shit kicker school bus driver in central Texas who gets a shot doing radio ads in Nashville. He rockets to the top with Henry Winkler ( I swear I'm not making this up) as his manager. He sings great tunes like "Tube Top Boogie". According to the credits Cheryl Crowe wrote the music. Some of the lyrics are hysterical. Written and directed by Jordan Brady and released on the First Rites label. 1999 Rated PG 91 minutes

The Dinner Game  Once a week, some friends gather for dinner and each of them must bring an idiot along for the others entertainment. Not actually a food film, it does revolve around one particular idiot who builds models from matchsticks. His host sprains his back and cannot escort him so they end up spending a hilarious evening together. Not unlike La Cage aux Folles which shares he same writer/director Francis Veber.. 81 minutes French w/subtitles Rated PG 13

Disco Dancer We are beholding to Adam Dugas for bringing this gem to our attention.  This must be the Bombay equivalent of Saturday Night Fever complete with disco dance extravaganzas that will make your  head spin and leave you hysterical. Johnny is a natural performer, a musician and a dancer. The reigning disco king of India, Sammy, is a drug addict and his manager ( Om Puri)  decides to replace him with Johnny.  A grudge ensues and Sammy tries to electrocute his rival by running wall current through his electric guitar. Things get nuts and Johnny gets his legs broken by some goons just before the world disco championships. What tension. If your a fan of  Indian odd films, this is your cup of tea. Thanks Adam  2 hours+ 1982 Hindi- it needs no subtitles  

The Disappearance of Finbar Finbar Flynn is a housing project kid from Ireland. He gets his big break as a mascot for a pro football team. He's back at the housing project in short order and everybody is giving him a hard time about losing his big chance. His best friend Danny is pleased to have his mate home, at least until Finbar woos his girlfriend away. Tired of all the hassle, Finbar jumps off a highway bridge and totally disappears. A search fails to find his corpse and and a year later, there's still no trace of him, until Danny gets a call. By then, Flynn's story has been converted to a rock video and his story has gone international. Danny sets off to Sweden to link up with his missing friend. Well, that's one way to get out of a dead end life. This suffers a little from poor production, a weak story and perhaps from being a hybrid Irish Swedish graft,, but hey what do we know? Rated 1 Directed by Sue Clayton 100 minutes

Dog Days ( Hundtage ) If you thought suburban American life was banal and pointless, take a peek at the Austrian Biedermanner. There are five storylines cross hatched in this film with only the slimmest thread connecting them. In one a bulimic young woman endures the abuse of her hyper jealous boyfriend, In another a hefty old widower pays his aged putzfrau to put on his wife's clothes and do a striptease for him. You'll never look at your Granny the same after you see that scene. There is also a crazy woman who hitchhikes from scene to scene irritating her benefactors as a leitmotif. Then there's a couple who torment each other sexually since their daughter died in a car accident. She invites men home for the weekend while he throws a tennis ball around the house. In the fourth, a lonely middle aged woman has a flamboyant Polish lover who humiliates and abuses her. While in another story line, a security agent offers up a surrogate as the perpetrator in a crime he can't solve. Basically everybody gets laid but nobody is too thrilled about it. If Tod Solondz spoke German he could have made this film. Anyway, it is, at it's best, a wonderful collection of some truly normal and unglamorous folks having sex. There's no airbrushing in this one, just naked, nasty, old and fat but truly democratic coupling. There is no salvation in any of these tales, just a reminder that love conquers nothing and fancy lingerie is not wasted on older women.  Directed by Ulrich Seidel 1999 Austrian in German with subtitles Rated 18+ probably because of the orgy.

Dogma Obviously, the religious right has no sense of humor if they tried to ban this film. This could be the third movie in the Win Wenders Angel Trilogy except it takes place in New Jersey instead of Berlin. Ben Afleck is a fallen angel who wants to get back into heaven on a technicality. Chris Rock is great as the 13th apostle, Rufus. George Carlin plays the gung ho Cardinal Glick. Alanis Morisette is God and Janeane Garofolo wouldn't miss a part in a Jersey movie. As a bonus, most of the cast of "Clerks" are in this, too. Outstanding comedy that may get a trifle theological at times. 122 minutes Rated R 1999 

Dogs Subtitled The rise and fall of an all girl bookie joint by director Eve Annenberg. This is a tale about Lower East Side NYC female slackers who have a plan to move them over to the lower west side. Leila Wascowicz is so broke, they take her mother's coffin to the cemetery by subway (She died of MSG buildup). After that experience Leila and her roommates decide to go into business. They link up with a Brooklyn bookie who sets them up as a satellite office. It kind of smacks of early Spike Lee, but the idea and the dialogue are pretty entertaining. God save small independent film makers. 85 Minutes 2000 Unrated.

Double Fattiness Apparently, folks in Hong Kong have no problem making fun of heavy people. Short of Eddy Murphy films, this is seldom the basis for a comic film in America. Mom runs a fast food restaurant with her husband and son. She has a heart attack due I guess to her stoutness but cannot get into heaven as the bridge collapses under her weight. She is sent back to earth on a technicality and given a sexy new body, since her old one was cremated. Dad, meanwhile acquires a new beau of ample proportions and cannot understand why this good looking young woman keeps hounding him. Meanwhile, evil real estate goons have plans for the restaurant that do not include the family. If it sounds like a Little Rascals plot, you're pretty close to the mark.

Dracula The 1931 original, with Bela Lugosi is always going to be the best. He defines what a vampire is and everyone since then has been forced to copy his imagery. If you haven't seen this, you have no business even reading this page. If you haven't seen it in a few years, go buy a copy, it deserves an annual viewing. Directed by Todd Browning, who was kind enough to also give us Freaks, it is fairly true to Bram Stokers novel and a far cry from Nosferatu. There's nothing better than a good black and white vampire film.

Bram Stoker's Dracula With this cast -Winona Ryder, Anthony Hopkins, Keanu Reeves and Gary Oldman- you'd think this F.F. Coppola film would be the defing version of this story. It's not. It is however, far more erotic than most and has all those big budget effects which never fail to impress. 192 Rated R 130 minutes

Drawing Blood Director Sergio Lapel made this trashy vampire in which an artist bites her models and mixes their blood in her pigments. Her protegé Edmund acts as her procurer until his conscience gets the better of him. Enlisting his Jimmy Durante imitating father to help him they set out to bring her down. This is a Troma produced film with all the kitsch and pointless nudity you might expect. Rated R 1999 90 minutes. 

drylongso Pica wanders around her neighborhood taking Polaroid's of all the boys in the neighborhood. She's realized that young black men are an endangered species and she needs to document them while they're still around. It's an unexaggerated view of day to day life in an African American neighborhood as seen through this young woman's eyes. Rated R 2000 81 minutes

Drugstore Cowboy This Matt Dillon classic is an excellent introduction to the depredations of serious drug addiction. It has the grandfather of substance abuse, William Burroughs, playing the role of a defrocked junkie priest. You can often find this one in the Cult section of your video store.

Dumplings If you are looking for the fountain of youth, look no further than Madam Mei's kitchen. Her dumpling have a secret ingredient that's guarantees a return to your former physical glory. If you wonder why director Fruit Chan enjoys such a cult following, here is one of his films you can really sink your teeth into.  A fading TV star will do most anything to regain her husbands affection and her former beauty. Mei helps her with her tasty dumplings until she meets the husband. This film can be found as a 30 minute version on the Three-extremes compilation or better as the full length "Dumplings" Who was it that said,"Vanity makes fools of us all"? Perhaps they meant cannibals, too. Rated III for obvious reasons.Written by Lillian Lee and starring Miriam Yeung, Bai Ling and Tony Ka-Fai Leung 90 minutes Cantonese w/subtitles

E

Earth Girls Are Easy This was made when Geena Davis and Jeff Goldblum couldn't get enough of each other. Look for an early appearance of Jim Carey and Damon Wayans. Lotsa shtick. If you think this was bad, the same crew made Transylvania 6-5000 which is way worse. 1989 100 minutes PG

Eat, Drink, Man, Woman This otherwise dysfunctional Chinese family manage to convey their love and tenderness through their preparation of meals. It may sound corny, but it works. Directed by Ang Lee, you might also check his The Wedding Feast which has a fair amount of food as well as a better story line. 1994 2 hours

Eating Raoul Maybe this was funny, but I saw it so long ago that I forget. A suburban couple develop a taste for human flesh and proceed to place classified ads in sex tabloids to lure in their evening meal. 1982 Rated R 80 minutes

Eat The Rich This may be a British interpretation of a John Water's movie. It is a none too brilliant 1980's send up of the upper classes. An androgynous waiter (Lanah Pellay) rebels and forms a half assed social movement to overthrow the aristocracy. After accruing a few followers they return to a posh restaurant , kill the diners with long bows and proceed to cook them up for the next sitting. Their are lots of inside jokes and social commentary that are both dated and incomprehensible to most non-Brits. Paul McCartney, Bill Wyman and Koo Stark have cameos. Music by Motorhead 1987 , Rated R 92 minutes

The Eden Myth Written and direct by Mark Edlitz this is a tale about family secrets. The Speck sons and daughter are all called home to the family manse for an important meeting with dad. It seems dad has arranged a marriage for his youngest son . Oddly his son has little problem with that and takes an immediate liking to the young woman. Meanwhile the sister is having an affair with the middle brother and the eldest son announces that he to is getting engaged.  The directors intro and the film jacket make a big deal about not revealing the "secret' ending. So, we won't , but we'll wager you'll figure it out long before the big revelation. Rated R 85 minutes

Elling This excellent film was suggested by John Wells, who wrote the following:  Its a Norwegian film by Peter Naess. Starring Per Christian Ellefsen and Sven Nordin as Elling and Kjell Bjarne, the primary characters in the best selling novel by Ingvar Ambjornsen. Elling is a 40ish man who along with Kjell Bjarne lives in a mental institution. The police take Elling from his home after his mother dies, appears Elling lives quite a sheltered life. He tells tales of sexual escapades to the oafish Kjell Bjarne, who has never been with a woman and is obsessed with sex. After 2 years in the institution, the two have developed a friendship and the state decides they are ready to live on there own in an apartment. they are shipped out to the city where they are met by their case worker Frank. Elling would just as soon never leave the house but Frank insists they develop a normal life. Anyway, a good film indeed, attested by the fact that I sat through the whole film in Norwegian (with English subtitles, I'm not a masochist) and was compelled and entertained from start to finish. Thanks John. 89 minutes Rated R 2001

El Topo This Jodorowsky classic is impossible to find on video but it is unquestionably a classic of weird cinema. It must be 2 1/2 hours long and is essentially a non stop hallucination captured on film. It's great, please, somebody, send us a copy, we're having withdrawals.

Elvis Meets Nixon What were they thinking when they made this movie? It is a rather tongue in cheek retelling of the bizarre piece of American pop history. It seems Elvis got pissed off one night and took off from Graceland unescorted by his "Boys". He flew up to DC  and got Nixon to make him a drug enforcement agent. For Real! Dick Cavet tells the story with some help from Wayne Newton and David Crosby. Really amazing.

The End of The Road Stacey Keach plays the dope Jack Horner who is lost in America's university system. Taken from the novel by John Barth, you may still be able to dig this one up. James Earl Jones has a small part and there's a great scene with a chicken. Directed by Aram Avakian 1970 110 minutes Rated X

Entropy n physics, entropy is the he tendency for thing to reach there lowest energy state. Director Phillip Loanou's film about a young director in love has little to do with this concept. Actor Stephen Dorff gets his big shot at breaking into working for a major film studio when his amorous obsession with Judith Godreche. Most critics liked this one, but we're not sure if you will. 110 Minute Rated R

Eraserhead This may be the only movie other than The English Patient that I walked out of. Not technically a classic, it is in black and white and may well have inspired the sets for Pee Wee's Playhouse. David Lynch made this, but he got better. 1978 90 minutes Unrated

Even Dwarves Started Small Why was Herzog booed off the stage when they showed this at the NY Film festival? Sit through it and you'll have the answer to that question. Filmed entirely with a cast of Dwarves and Midgets, this may be the tale of a patient take over at a mental hospital. Ostensibly, the film is in German, but cackling dwarves need no subtitles. This film has the look and feel of the Little Rascals on LSD. Like all Herzog films, it is apparent that everyone had a good time and the movie was just a by product. It took awhile to find this one and thanks to everyone who helped track it down. This is a must for Herzog fans. 11/98

Eva Jean Moreau plays Eve, an unbelievably cruel courtesan in this 1960's Joseph Losey film. Stanley Baker is a Welsh writer who has settled in Venice . He loses his gorgeous fiancé , Virna Lisi, when she is faced with his sordid affair with Eve. In spite of his undying love and countless sacrifices, Eve treats him like dirt. This French classic will make you yearn for the days when you could smoke in public. Recently reassembled from its many cuts, this lost treasure has just been re-released on DVD. 1962 119 minute French w/subtitles unrated

Eu,Tu,El Darlene (Regina Case) is pregnant and she leaves her small Brazilian town to have her child elsewhere. She returns 3 years later with her toddler to find her mother has just died. With limited resources, Darlene arranges a marriage with a local man, Osias, 20 years her senior in exchange for a house. They have a son, but Osias is a lazy bum  and when his cousin Zezinho, comes to stay, Darlene has another son with him. Next Ciro comes along, a homeless handsome drifter and Darlene adds a fourth son to her brood with his assistance. All three men love her and they decide to share her affections rather than risk losing her. Osias adopts all the boys so they are legitimate and they live happily ever after. The scenery is bleak, life is poor but it is an incredible and unorthodox love story. PG13 107 minutes 2000 Brazilian Portugese w/English Subtitles

 Eversmile, New Jersey Daniel Day Lewis goes riding around Patagonia with a foldout dental chair on his motorcycle to promote dental hygiene in Argentina. He is sponsored by a New Jersey charity that abandons him, but fortunately his love interests fill the gap. 1990 Rated PG 88 minutes

Every Man For Himself And God Against All One of Werner Herzog's more elusive tales based on the true story of a kid with no social skills who wanders into 18th century Nuremberg. Unable to speak and barely able to walk, he is adopted and raised by the townspeople. Kaspar is played by Bruno S. the certified schizophrenic who steals the show in Herzog's other loser movie Stroszek. 1975 110 minutes also titled The Mystery of Kaspar Hauser

Eye of God Ainsley is a rather naive counterperson in a small oil town burger joint. She meets and marries an ex con that she had corresponded with while he was upstate. He has found God while he was away, but that doesn't stop him. Not very good, even if the jacket is telling the truth about Siskel & Ebert's thumbs. 1997  88 min Rated R  12/99

F

F***/Off No we didn't put the asterisks in, that's the actual title of this comic tale of two lame bank robbers. Ah Lee is a bank teller who is in deep to his threatening stock broker. He runs into Papa who is an incredibly stupid crook wannabe looking for henchmen. They team up for an abortive attempt at a life of crime. This might be considered a Cantonese version of Wes Anderson's "Bottle Rocket". Entertaining. Chinese and English subtitles 90 min Rated IIb

Face Ray (Robert Carlyle) is a 'Face" or an honourable man in British criminal parlance. He and his mates rob things, like an armored car service, to have a little spending money. Like all entertaining crime stories, something goes wrong. First the screw up the heist by taking all the small bills and leaving millions behind. With only 60,000 pounds each, there five member gang starts to turn on themselves. By morning, only 4 left and all 5 bags of money are missing. The money's gone somewhere and three more people turn up dead, so who's ripped them off. They band together and scour the city in search of clues and their cash, but it's far from simple. Much grittier than a Guy Ritchie film and rest assured there are no pretty boys in this cast. Better than most and directed by Antonia Bird who also gave us Ravenous. 107 minutes Rates R British w/o subtitles.

Face A forensic anthropologist is being haunted by one of his facial reconstructions. As added stress he is a single parent raising a young daughter who has had a heart transplant. The girl is having recurring rejection problems due to something called a beta allergy. Well, it turns out the specialist who did the surgery had a murderous assistant who acquired hearts especially for beta allergic patients. It seems the little girl and her father are being haunted by the original owner of her heart. When dad finally solves the case the doctor is arrested and the ghost who was assisting him is laid to rest. Sort of a hybrid Asian ghost story with a little extra gore thrown in. Better than most; the photography is decent, it is not overly hokey and actually gets a little scary at times. Directed by YOO san-gon  Korean w/subtitles 2004 unrated

Fait Accompli Ling is a fertility doctor who runs a sperm bank in need of donors. Her mother in law is a meddlesome type who is desperate for a grandchild. So desperate, in fact, that she perforates the couples condom supply. There are a few funny scenes, but it degrades into a sappy melodrama after the husband dies. Cantonese w/subtitles 90 min rated III

Far From Home Sang Woo is a spoiled little city kid who is unimpressed with his mute grandmother and her rustic ways. His mother has left him with grandma for the summer and he has a lot of adjusting to do before he sees the values in country living. He is shocked that you can’t get batteries for your gameboy out there and it is intriguing to see how this odd couple adapts. It is a really well made story about a cross in generations that  truly comes across cultures. Chinese 2000 90 min Rated I

Fashionably L.A. A no holds look at working your way up or through the modeling business in LA. Directed by Tamara Olson who apparently lived through this hell before becoming a great director. Show this to your teenage daughters to dispel any illusions she may have about the glamour of a modeling career. 95 min unrated  VHS*

The Favor, The Watch and the Very Big Fish Bob Hoskins, Natasha Richardson, Michel Blanc and Jeff Goldblum compose the unlikely cast in this adaptation of the Marcel Ayme short story "Rue St. Sulpice" . Hoskins is a photographer who makes kitchy religious photos. He hires Goldblum to play Jesus and Jeff starts taking the part a bit too seriously. Richardson is their quirky love interest who has an interesting story to tell. This sleeper might have been a Handmade film, but was made after their demise. Don't give up on it, at least until you see Goldblum/Jesus walk on water. Directed by Ben Lewin  Rated R 1992 90 minutes. 

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas A total waste of your time, Johnny Depp's talent and some poor slobs money. Hunter Thompson is fun to read but his delirium does not translate onto film even with the help of Terry Gilliam. If you actually sat through this, check out "Where the Buffalo Roam" another senseless attempt to put Dr. Gonzo on celluloid but this time with Bill Murray as Dr T. 1997 98 long minutes rated R

Felicia's Journey If Happiness left you feeling uneasy, this Atom Egoyan film may affect your sleeping pattern. Ostensibly a film about a super nice, seemingly normal guy, Joseph Hilditch (Bob Hoskins) who is a serial murder of young homeless girls and prostitutes. He casually stalks them and befriends them in a slow spider like fashion. Ultimately, when he gains his victim's their confidence, they unburden their problems. After that, he helps them out by drugging and killing them. It all has to do with a slowly evolving fixation he had with his dominant television star mom. The tale is ordinary enough, but it is the ordinariness of Joseph's life that makes this such a fearful tale. Hoskin's is at his best, as this character who is truly the dark side of Humbert Humbert .  Elaine Cassidy is very convincing as Felicia. This film left me feeling smarmy and nervous. Somehow it is rated PG-13 go figure. 116 minutes 1999

Ferpect Crime The director of this Spanish comedy Alex de la Iglesia agrees that this is a stupid title for his rather silly film about a foppish department store salesman who unwittingly murders his boss. Rafael had it all, a stable of beatiful mistresses, good looks, stylish clothes and a shot at his dream job. Unfortunately it all goes awry when a rather awkward salesclerk helps him cover up his crime. She proceeds to black mail him into an awkward sexual liaison and then an unwanted marriage. His dream life becomes hell on earth. Well timed jokes and funny camera work make this farcical tale into a great laugh. Iglesia is able to project his wonderful Spanish sense of humor into his film with style and grace. Look for it. 105 minutes Spanish w/subtitles.

Fight Club Ouch! The basic rule, if Brad Pitt is in it, go see it, applies. Pitt and Edward Norton meet as seat mates on a cross country flight. Soon after that, Ed's apartment blows up destroying all his great Ikea furniture. He calls Pitt's character, Tyler Durdin, looking for some consolation and they end up beating the snot out of each other in a parking lot. Both of them kind of enjoy the drubbing, and soon others join in the fun and "fight club" evolves. Their basic rule is never tell anyone about fight club, making this bashed up crew into an exclusive group. Pitt's character, Tyler develops a "fight club' philosophy as their ranks swell and before long their macho sadistic pastime  gets out of hand. These bad boys quickly become terrorists working for the good of mankind. This is a great depiction of a personality cults that has gone wild, adapted form the novel by Chuck . Helena Bonham Carter is the serious love interest and an unusual soul. Great film. 1999 Rated R, 139 minutes

The Fifth Element By the time you read this, this movie should be out on video. Bruce Willis is beginning to dominate this genre, but he can't outdo his Yugoslavian co star in this bizarre story. Futuristic Dick Tracy type sets are excellent and don't detract from the well written sci-fi story. Nice taxicab scenes.

Finding Graceland Poor Byron (Jonathan Schaech) is driving around in a sadly scraped 67 Cadillac with a missing door. He picks up Harvey Keitel who turns out to be the reincarnated Elvis.  Bridget Fonda looks great as Marilyn Monroe.  Their trip through Graceland is the highlight . PG13 97 minutes 1998 .

Fishing With Gandhi If your head is clogged from too many slick formulaic Hollywood films, watch this movie, it is brain Drano. Gil and Roy are a none too bright set of hillbilly twins ( played by James & Rick Reichmuth)  that pick up Danno (Dan Klein) a pathetic stoner who is hitch hiking home from his mothers wedding. She married his Uncle Roy (which puts this solidly in our avuncular film category). Anyway these two "human speed bumps" make frequent stops to let their overheated pick up truck cool down. The dialogs that ensue are inane and priceless. Both a comedy and a safety film as director Gabe Weisert clearly spells out the dangers of human inbreeding. 73 minutes unrated 1999

Five Corners This movie has John Turturro, Tim Robbins, Jody Foster and a penguin . Back from prison, Turturro tries to reassimilate into his Bronx neighborhood. Its a great chance to see a lot of good actors early in their careers. There is a real nice scene when JT throws his mother out the window to keep from breaking her heart. It also raises the question are there still Indians in the Bronx. Directed by Tony Bill and, yes, 5 corners actually exists. 1988 Rated R 92 minutes 1/99

Flirt  This unusual film is the same tale told three times. Even the dialog is consistant, but the locations and genders change around, just to keep it interesting. Hal Hartley produced this directors trick of a film for his own amusement and perhaps you'll join in the fun of seeing just how much directorial control can alter the same script. 1995 Rated R 85 minutes

Floundering Ostensibly, a post riots LA flagellation movie, we follow John (John LeGros) around Venice beach while he figures out life is a complicated process that his ill equipped to handle. The cast is extensive and, yes, Steve Buscemi is among the walk on notables as are Billy Bob Thornton and Kim Wayans. One great politically incorrect line: "Where there's no hope, theres dope !" Hard to tell who's the bigger loser, John or this movie. 1994 Rated R 97 Minutes

Freaks If you are reading this, there's a 90% chance you've seen this granddaddy of le cinema bizarre. This Tod Browning extravaganza is in a class by itself. Filmed with a troupe of circus freaks it was a little too strong for modern sensibilities and lay buried for a few decades. Briefly, it is the tale of a high flying hussy trapeze artist who seduces little hans away from his diminuitive fiance. She marries him for his money and drugs him into submission. The freaks come to Han's rescue and chickenize the trapeze artist. Zip and Pip are in this. Good stuff. 1932 one hour Unrated

Freaks and Men Filmed in sepia, this Russian story of early photography revolves around the advent of pornography and a kidnapped pair of singing Siamese twins. Very cool and amazingly good cinematography. Sort of a Russian David Lynch film. 90 min 2003 Unrated Russian w/subtitles

Freeway Dad's a crack head, moms a hooker and poor Vanessa never had a stable home life. When mom gets busted, she does a Little Red Ridinghood and heads off for grandma's house. She hitches a ride with Keiffer Sutherland who is the notorious I-5 killer. She shoots him, gets busted and her troubles begin. Directed by Matthew Bright, Amanda Plummer is the mom and  Reese Witherspoon, Dan Hedaya and Brooke Shields are also on the roster. Weird stuff. There's also a sequel, but not as good. 1996 Rated R 102 minutes

Freeze Die Come To Life This Russian coming of age movie shares very little with it's American counterparts. Filmed in eastern Siberia, a young boy leads a harsh existence among the thieving brutal alcoholic adults that cheer up his day. Filmed at the tail end of the communist era, it shows Russian life as it may still be today. Filmed in black & white it helps emphasize the gloominess of the countryside. Amidst the kicks and punches, our young hero manages to keep you amused. 105 minute B&W 1989 Unrated.

Frequency Dennis Quaid stars as a New York fireman living in Queens back in 1969, the year the Mets won the series. The film flashes forward 30 years and we follow Quaids son who is now a NY policeman assigned to a serial murder case that spans the 30 year interlude. Due to unusual solar activity the father and son contact one another over a ham radio and over the three decades. They combine their efforts to catch the killer and completely screw up the future by messing with the past. Really schmaltzy stuff but the science fiction parts are excellent and worth slogging past the heavy emotional sequences. By the way, real New Yorkers can tell when you film in Toronto so don't try and tell us it's really Queens, okay. 

Frogs for Snakes Actors often say they would kill for a part, but these guys actually do. You need a scorecard to keep track of this character filled send up of the New York actor/gangster scene. If you enjoy the joke, you'll find this one entertaining. Directed by Amos Poe with Barbara Hershey, Robbie Coltrane. Lisa Marie and Clarence Williams the third to name a few. 1999 Rated R 92 minutes.

The Funeral Some films let you know up front, that they just aren't going to have a happy ending. Since this aptly titled film opens with the funeral of Johnny (Vincent Gallo) , you get an early clue. Three mobster brothers; Ray (Christopher Walken), Chez (Chris Penn) and the late Johnny, handle the unions in New York in the thirties. They are a li